My Book Stash Must Go!

I have an 8x10 shed in my sisters back yard full of books. I had started to collect them way back in 2012 for my as of yet unfulfilled dream of opening a used book shop/gelato/coffee bar. Unless someone wins the lottery and gives me say 1 million dollars, it's not going to happen. Have I completely given up on the dream? Eh, sort of. I tried to get it going again last year. I had an amazing business plan, my eye on several potential locations that were for sale, a real estate agent ready and willing to get into the trenches and fight for me, and I had sold my portion of the house I co-owned with my sister back to her and pulled out my entire retirement savings from my 401k. But none of it mattered to the banks. I won't go into the long details of how the US banking empire is fucked up, and will only say that it was impossible for me to get any kind of loan (small business or commercial) from any bank (big or small community).

So, I have just under 4,000 books in a shed not being read or even used as kindling or toilet paper. I've looked into selling online via amazon, independent online sellers, setting up my own online bookstore, etc., and none of them would allow me to make any profit or even break even. I could donate them, and I have donated a few hundred, and given some to friends. But I don't want to donate them to the new crappy used bookstore that is in my dream downtown location, because they are crappy and I don't like them. I may be slightly jaded.

And if by some miracle I am able to open my dream shop some day, collecting books is not a hard task for me. I'm very good at it. So getting rid of the stash I have now will not break me. My sister could use the extra storage for other things like her oldest sons crap that he left behind after he joined the army or her broken exercise equipment. You know, stuff.

So I am posting a link to my inventory. I will put it in google docs and open it to everyone. You can search by title, author, and even ISBN. Let me know what you want, and first come first serve if I don't have multiple copies. I am not asking for any money for them, if you feel obligated to pay for them, then I only ask you don't try to overpay for them. They are used. If you want me to ship to you, I only ask you pay the shipping and nothing more.

If you happen to live near me (and by that I mean within a 100 mile radius), I will be happy to deliver. I will be on the road late May to mid June this year, so I can deliver to southern California, Arizona, Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, and Nevada. We will just need to communicate and coordinate to meet up. Also please check the Notes section of my inventory, there I have details about if I lent the book to someone, donated it, or is perhaps worth a good sum of money (first editions, out of print, etc.), or any damage.

So please, I beg you all, take a look, snag some books, tell all your friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, random people on the street, the cop giving you a speeding ticket, your local homeless crazy person, and everyone else in your life to take a look, and snag some books. I want them to go to good homes and get read, or used in art projects, or as fire starters, or camping toilet paper. I don't care.

If I get enough response, I will update the inventory accordingly when books get snagged.

Here is the link to the book inventory:
Book Inventory

Ways to contact me:
comment on this blog post
comment on this blog posts link on Facebook or Twitter
message me on Facebook or Twitter (I promise to check Twitter regularly)
          my Twitter handle            my Facebook page
email me at kslarsen1@yahoo.com
text me (but I'm not going to leave my phone number in here so good luck with that)

My Peak Challenge 2016: What happens when you fail

So what do you do when you fail at something? Cry? Eat junk food? Stay in bed all day? Drink copious amounts of alcohol? What do you do when you fail at something big?

If you have read this blog before then you know I participated in something called My Peak Challenge last year. I wrote about it a few times. If you don't know what it was or need a refresher, click here for the beginning and here for the end result from last year. This year was of course bigger, better, and more bad-assery. It kicked off in January and culminated for the entire month of May. There was a facebook group formed for all the participants and a two month long prep program that ran from February through the end of March that included meal prep, menu's, and an exercise program with videos and tutorials. We were to pick our challenge and had the entire month of May to complete it. And of course all the while we were raising money for cancer research. I signed up for it all. I was so excited to do it again. I got my MPC 2016 t-shirt, bought the prep program and followed it every day for the entire two months. I even found and bought a rowing machine from craig's list. All the while I was trying to decide what my May challenge would be. I decided that this year it wouldn't be a physical challenge but a professional one. I kept quiet about the whole challenge this year. No weekly blog posts about good running music or embarrassing work-out mishaps. I didn't want to blurt out what my challenge was going to be. I wanted it to be a surprise.

When I left archaeology originally, it was to pursue opening a small business. My dream was to own and operate a used bookstore and gelato shop. So I started to pursue it. I wrote a business plan, started collecting books, went to classes sponsored by the SBDC (Small Business Development Center) and my local Chamber of Commerce. Learned how to make gelato from a real Italian. I put it on hold when I realized I needed money I didn't have and then my mom got sick. Well then she died, and I started My Peak Challenge 2015 last year. My sister bought me out of our house, I moved into dad's house, and I cashed out my archaeology 401k. All of a sudden, I now had money. So let's do this. Time to get this dream out of the clouds and a reality. That was going to be my May challenge. To find a building in downtown for my shop and get the necessary loans needed to get it up and running. So that's what I did. I rewrote my business plan, found the building I wanted, got my real estate agent on it, and went to a local non-profit that specializes in small businesses and their funding and the bank with my applications.

The non-profit said, "sorry, we won't fund you at this time, too high risk". The bank said the same thing. This wasn't just some normal big bank. Big banks won't even look you in the eye without coming to them with a multi-million dollar deal. I was just asking for $400,000. The bank I went to is one of the local community banks that specialize in small businesses. I tried SBA loans which are government backed and got no answers. I then asked my sister and brother-in-law to go in on it with me thinking they have collateral that I don't have and have incomes that I don't so surely the bank would like them better. Nope. The way that banks and any other financial institutions work these days are not for the common person. They work for huge conglomerates and the big money makers. They will not invest in small businesses. They just won't. They make it so hard. You have to front up to 50%, have already been in business for 3-5 years, etc. So how is someone suppose to start up, when no one will lend? You don't.

I failed. There are a ton of articles about how the current U.S. economy has killed small businesses and entrepreneurs. Google it. Read this article from Time magazine. Could I get investors? Sure, but then I have to do what they say, pay them back at their interest rate, on their terms. It wouldn't be my business, it would be theirs until I payed them off. Could I crowd fund? Sure. Could I get $300-400,000 that I need? No.

I failed. The U.S. economy failed. The only way to be an entrepreneur now is to be a 1%-er trust fund kid. And that, I am not. You have to do it outside of the traditional route. And even then you are taking a big risk. I was willing to take the risk. No one else was.

So what do you do when you fail? When your dream is dead in the water? Well, you keep getting up in the morning. You keep putting your clothes on. You keep going to that job you hate. You keep eating food. And you run. Run till you can't go any farther. You run till your tears stop flowing. You run with the music so loud you drown out the negative voice in your head telling you that you suck and you're a looser. You run. And you keep running. And get up the next day and do it all over again. Because sometimes, that's all you can do.

I did not succeed at this years My Peak Challenge. Not everyone did. Some people had to have surgeries. Others had to stop because they are on chemo treatments. Some got injured. Did these people give up because they failed to reach their peak this year? Hell no. They get up every day and go to physical therapy or to their chemo treatments. They keep going. And so will I. I will keep getting up every day. I will run because that is all I can do.

I failed. My dream of being a proud small business owner may be over, but I'm still here. And for now, I'll keep running.

This is the serious post... Don't panic.

Feeling very unacomplished lately. I need to get my ass in gear and figure out what I really want. What I really want to do with my life and what I really want to do as a job/career/ need to make more money than I am now.

Being back in a food/drink service job getting minimum wage makes me really yearn for the days when I was an extremely underpaid archaeologist. I was living just above paycheck to paycheck because I was able to save up for big things like plane tickets and DVD's and was able to pay for my car getting serviced and not having to put it on a credit card and taking 6 months to pay off $200 dollars.

Now I am living paycheck to paycheck and bleeding. I say bleeding because it isn't working. I don't make enough to sustain myself, and that makes me sad and angry and feel real bad about myself. I am in my 30's, I have two college degrees, I'm single so I don't have to sustain anyone but myself and I'm not doing it. My savings is just about empty. One major thing like my car breaking down, or a root canal or something like that, and I will be in the red, like I can't pay my mortgage red. I am only able to pay my portion of the mortgage every month just barely. I don't pay for the cable or utilities or even food. So really, I am not making it.

Things need to change, and they need to change soon. Nephew #2 is graduating in June and sis will want to move within the next year or so. And then what? Move back to mommy and daddy's? I hope not.

I'm the one who put myself in this situation, and I need to pull my head out of the sand and start moving and facing the problems I've been avoiding and start making things happen. The coffee shop job I have now was only suppose to be temporary. It was to be temporary stability, so I could work toward the shop dream. I only wanted to stay there 6 months to a year tops. It has been 8 months now.

I want to open my own little shop. I want to live in a little house with lots of land. I want a riding lawn mower and cats and finally live by myself. I want to be financially secure so I can fix my cars windshield and all the little things I've let slide or go because I can't afford them.

So how does one do this? How do I get moving and make forward progress?


Baby steps and with help. I admit that now. I've talked and hopefully planted a seed in one of you. And after 3 months of being a slouch, I'm finally running again. So yeah, baby steps and help.

thinking positive

I woke up this morning and told myself, "It is going to be a good day". I said that several times to myself while forcing myself out of bed.

And it turned out to be a good day. Who knew. Why?

1.) My favorite show is on tonight *fangirling

2.) Fun stuff was on twitter and tumblr today *made me lol and lmao literally

3.) Perhaps most importantly, but still #3 on my list is I got a job today.

It's just part time, minimum wage-ish (slightly higher, I hope) at a coffee shop. But it will help pay the mortgage, get me out of the house, and give me barista skills (read latte artist) for when I get my shop going.

So yay for positive thinking in the mornings. Maybe I should do this every day.

Must.Create.Something.

My creativity has been stifled as of late and it’s been driving me nuts. Bonkers. All the BatB stuff and peeps I’ve been looking at have inspired me to do something. But I just can’t figure out what and in what medium. I’m no great artist. I don’t consider myself an artist at all. My first thought was to draw a stick figure comic-like blog about me fangirling about something. Then I realized that I have a hard time even drawing stick figures, and there are some really good stick figure comic artists on the web. Some are down right hysterical! Check out this one. And her too. Then I thought well, I’ll do something with gifs. But photocapping is a long process, and it would be much easier to steal other peoples gifs than create my own and I’d have to find free software and stuff, and ugh. And again, there are some really funny and talented gif-ers out there. So I’m stuck. I came up with a cool idea for a book if anyone wants to write it. I finally signed up at Tumblr but haven’t posted anything. I’m collecting pictures of some actor dudes thumb to trace the act of him smashing it in a door or something to it finally healing through episodes of his tv show. I’m playing detective, it’s kinda fun. Twitter and Tumblr have been my saving grace but I'm still creatively frustrated.

What I really need to do is get up off my ass and really do something about the shop. It’s almost to the point where I either engage and really go at it, or drop it and move on to something else. Several drinks and gelato flavors have been popping into my head and art pieces to create for the book side. I need to engage but can’t seem to make myself do it. What is holding me back?

Can I do it? Yes, I can!

So I’ve been somewhat quite here the last few weeks on the blog. I’ve put everything including this blog on the back burner for two weeks in order to focus all my nervous energy toward the Business Plan Competition I entered. Today was the first round of the competition. Lucky for me, I was one of the first to pitch to my panel of judges. As I write this first paragraph I have yet to know if I survived and made it to the finals, which will be on May 3rd.

I’m sitting here on the CSU Monterey Bay campus waiting till 1:30pm for the announcement.

I had written about how nervous I can get here. For this... my nervousness started 8 days prior to the competition day. With a ball of fuzzy in my chest. I spent most of my time reading over my 5 minute pitch and trying to get it memorized. I would wake up in the morning feeling nervous and at times during the days and when I would go to sleep at night. The big “ugh” was when I started breaking out in the worst pimple fest in over 10 years. I even popped one this morning. The day before the competition (yesterday) I felt ok. I finished getting the car ready (gas), quarters (parking), and went to Target and Kohl’s and bought new clothes for the pitch. I got really happy at Target when I tried on the pants and they fit and they were a size 6!! I ran through the pitch a lot that day and evening. I couldn’t sleep however. But I knew that would happen. I maybe got 3 hours of shut-eye.

I got there 45 minutes early. I signed in at 9:30. I was scheduled to pitch at 10:30. They called me at 10:05 and said will you be ready at 10:15? Uh, ok. They were running ahead of schedule. I was actually done and out by 10:30. I got really nervous just before I walked in the room. There were four judges, all male. I had met one of them earlier during a workshop for this competition. I stumbled a bit and skipped a bit, but I think I got my points across and got some head nodding and raised eyebrows and even some smiles out of those dudes. I felt good about how it turned out. No matter if I make it to the next round, it was good to go through the experience.

During the week leading up to this, I kept thinking about how people can get up and do this all the time. And how performers can do what they do in front of an audience. It certainly isn’t in my wheelhouse. I’m actually surprised I haven’t completely broke down and gone into full panic attack mode. There has only been one time in my life that I was ever unable to perform. And it was when I was maybe 14 and was to play the piano for the church offertory. The previous time I did the offertory, I did horribly but trudged through it and finished. The Pastor had stopped me from leaving the platform after and said to me and everyone in attendance that he was proud of me for finishing that and asked me to replay that particular song the next time I was up in the offertory rotation. By then I was crying and just nodded my head. I just wanted to disappear. I went back and practiced and a few months later I was up in the rotation. During the service I was getting really nervous and actually started shaking and crying. Bless my mother, she asked if I wanted to NOT do the offertory and I nodded. She got up and told my piano teacher who helped lead the music for the church that I wasn’t going to do it. She then let me leave and go home.

I’ve seen people go into full on panic attack and it isn’t pretty. I came to realize yesterday that I can do this. I won’t panic. And that I can do anything I put my mind to. I may not do it well, but I can do it! Just look at this.

Click to see me jump off a cliff

When I went to New Zealand in 2009, I signed up with two other REI trekkers to do the Canyon Swing. I think that was the most nerve racking thing I have ever done previously or since, including today! Hopefully you can see the video. If you watch closely and listen closely you can see my legs shaking and my voice quiver. They were not going to push me off the edge. I was going to have to do it. I lingered for quite a bit. I thought about backing out while I was standing there. But I did it. I made myself go over the edge. And what an experience it was. Total fear and then total exuberance and bliss. Pure adrenaline. It was an amazing experience.

So if I can get myself to go over a cliff while in total fear of my life, I can certainly give a five minute pitch. And that realization is what got me through yesterday, last night, and today. I still don’t know if I made it through to the next round of the competition, but man, I am extremely happy right now.

*I didn’t make it to the finals. I was bummed. I really wanted to make it. But I understand that even though I can get up and pitch, doesn’t mean I am good at it. I know it is not a strong suit of mine. I am waiting on feedback from one of the judges. I am curious as to if I didn’t get to go on because of how I presented or the actual content of what I said. I’ll let you all know, when I do.

Again, thank you to all of you who prayed, thought of me, sent me texts, gave me words of encouragement, sent good vibes, etc. Even though I was standing alone up there, you were all with me. So thank you. Truly.

Tell him I stutter

I did not want to do my workout today. I just wanted to lay in bed. Did not have much energy, not that I usually do in the mornings anyway. I purposely put my workout clothes on as soon as I got out of bed, knowing that if I didn’t, I wouldn’t. I forced myself to do it. No bribery or incentives. Just forced myself to put the tennies on and get out the door. And when I got back from the run, forced myself again to do the new circuit routine.

It’s nice that I don’t have to use my old bribery tricks anymore, but that may only be because I can’t spend money. But this post isn’t about why I didn’t feel like working out today. I’ll write that one later... perhaps.

During the run, I was thinking about my anxiety. How nervous I can get. Why? Because I’m already thinking about a short 5 minute pitch/presentation I will be doing at the end of March as part of a Business Plan Competition.

I have talked about my anxiety and nervous tendencies before on the blog here and here but I have never revealed here how intense it can actually get.

In grade school, I remember that while my friends were being pulled out of class to go play on the computers in the GATE program, I was being pulled out of class for speech therapy (back when public schools had money for speech therapists, counselors, and computer labs). I have a stutter. My brother has a more intense stutter than I do. He also got speech therapy at school. Speech therapy didn’t cure my stutter, but I know when it will happen and how to stop it. Which often includes me stopping mid sentence and exchanging words that I know I will stutter on to different ones. Is it why I am such an introvert? No, I think I’d be an introvert even if I didn’t have the stutter.

When I have to get up and speak in front of people, my stutter is always in the back of my mind. But it isn’t the reason I get extremely nervous. I’m not embarrassed by my stutter, I never was. I see it as more of an annoyance, having to stop speaking in order to continue speaking. It interrupts the flow. I also now know why my writing voice is so different than my actual speaking voice. I cannot physically push out of my mouth what I write. I trip over words, easy words. I even have a hard time reading aloud.

So if my stutter isn’t the main reason for my anxiety and nervousness, then why mention it? I don’t think most of you understand how nervous and anxious I actually get. My parents know, my sister knows, even one of my nephews knows. Why? Because they suffer from it to varying degrees themselves. I have also learned over the course of my life to date to hide it. At one of my first archaeology jobs, I threw up on the job site... twice. I didn’t have the flu, it was all nerves, and no one there knew.

I get nervous meeting new people. Starting a new job. Going somewhere I haven’t been to before. Job interviews, phone conversations, confrontations, doing something I’ve never done before, I even get nervous when friends come by (completely silly, I know). There’s much more too. So it becomes pretty obvious that I have performance anxiety.

I’ve broken down and cried after a piano performance and a violin performance when I was younger. Luckily my violin teacher saw how traumatizing the experience was for me and said that she would never make me do anything like that ever again, and kept her word.

So it is easy for me to get to a state of physical breakdown when I have to “perform”. I will get the shakes, ears will burn, voice quivers, sweaty hands, butterflies, my stutter comes out, and like I mentioned tears, and the ultimate, so nauseous, I puke. I would sometimes take ginger pills not because of motion sickness, but because I didn’t want to puke due to nerves. Although, one time I puked up the ginger pill. Oh well.

I still don’t think I have explained this well. Just know that even though it will only be 5 minutes, it will feel like the longest 5 minutes of my life. In the grand scheme of things, it is little. But it is the biggest little thing.

No matter how many times I have done things like this, speeches, presentations, recitals, it doesn’t get easier. I don’t care if you tell me, the more you do it the easier it will get. That is a lie. Especially for someone like me who suffers with performance anxiety to this extreme.

So that I don’t leave you on a downer, because I have been dealing with this my entire life and I understand what my body will do to me, I have learned to not let it paralyze me. I have ways to calm myself. To hide the nervous ticks and the quake of my voice. When I need to, I step out of my comfort zone, and do what needs to be done. They may be the longest 5 minutes of my life, but the shop is totally worth it.

When I grow up...

I never knew what I wanted to be when I was younger. I can remember when I was about 5 or so, telling my parents I wanted to be a boy when I grew up. I thought the peach fuzz on my lip would grow into a mustache. Thankfully, it never did. When I was a child, besides turning into a boy, I wanted to be a Park Ranger. I thought they were cool. I still do think they are cool. Also wanted to be an Olympic Athlete, and an Astronaut, even after watching the Challenger explode on live tv in my 2nd grade classroom.

In 1993, after watching Jurassic Park I decided I wanted to be a Palaeontologist. Then I wanted to be a Geologist, Coroner, a fighter pilot, a Navy Seal, and an Author. After watching Dante's Peak in 1997, I wanted to be a Vulcanologist. Then a rescue squad member, Firefighter, Smoke Jumper (Hotshot), EMT, Script Writer, Set Builder, Coast Guard, Photographer, Columnist, Travel Writer, Pastry Chef, and a Forensic Anthropologist. There was also Professional Musician, Mountain Climber, Explorer, Naturalist, Adventure Travel Guide, Oceanographer, Glass Blower, and Welder.

In 2005, I got my first Archaeology job. But I didn't stop. To survive as a successful archaeologist, one needs other skill sets. So I thought Biologist, Botanist, Geologist (again), Forensic Anthropologist (again), Geographer, and Osteologist. I never did any of those, perhaps a reason I'm no longer employed as an archaeologist. Then I thought, time for a new career as a Landscape Architect, Construction Worker, Park Ranger (again), Freelance Writer, Adventure Tour Guide (again).

Right now I'm trying out Entrepreneur.

But seriously, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Anyone have any ideas?

the tangent of my tangent, say wha?

I have been contemplating on whether or not I should write a sort of Christmas Letter blog post or not and how or what themes I should be making this blog as a whole. I had mentioned before that it all started as a way to explain and let my family and friends experience my life as a working archaeologist. However, I am not a working archaeologist anymore, and haven’t been for almost two years now. That part of my life seems to be over now. So the blog seems to be more of a general, “this is my life now” sort of deal. Which is fine. Nothing wrong with that. But I wonder if it is interesting anymore for the few readers I have, and for myself. I feel a sense of obligation to keep writing. I’ve talked with my dad about this often when he says, “I wonder about starting my own blog”. I have plenty to say. Blog ideas pop into my head all the time, I just don’t write them all down. Writing is tedious. There is a reason why I have never written a novel. I have an entire bookshelf of my own work in my head. And it will most likely remain there. I can’t seem to take the time to write it all out. It is all so visual in my head, that taking the time to write out in text what I see visually is just not appealing.

Random tangent there, if there ever was one. I am also thinking about when I should start up the webpage, blog, twitter, facebook, social media spew for my shop. Part of my marketing will rely heavily on social media. I was planning on starting a blog for the shop. Starting with the acquisition of the loans and investments, and all the preparations. Giving people “the story” as it happens. The highs and lows, struggles and victories up to the opening. The adventures we are going to have in retrofitting, remodeling, finding the perfect gems of fixtures and equipment. And then continuing on with the adventures of recipe building and the day to day running of a quirky little shop. All through the eyes of the fictional Jack, of Jack Diddly Squat.

Once that happens, will I still find the time to write here? I don’t know. It’s not like I have 100’s or 1000’s of readers. I have maybe 30 on a good post. Leaving this blog behind will not be devastating on anyone. The world will not end because of it. I don’t have that kind of power.

Everyone seems to reflect this time of year, myself included, obviously. This certainly isn’t how I saw my life turning out way back when I thought about what I wanted to do/be growing up. I never thought I’d become an archaeologist. And I certainly never thought I’d become an entrepreneur... in progress. I never thought I’d have an advanced degree, or that it would take 9 years of college education to get it. I never thought I would live here in Gilroy... and like it. I never thought I’d live with my parents as long as I did or that living with my sister would be an option.

I always thought I’d be married by now. I can’t remember now if I wanted kids when I dreamed about my future as a child. I don’t want them now. A partner - yes, kids - no. Could someone change my mind - possibly, but highly doubtful. I have no desire whatsoever to experience pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, or the responsibilities of parenthood. I don’t feel the need to “carry on my line”, my siblings have done that for me. Would it be fun to have a little “mini me” running around? Sure, but that is also one of the scariest things, ever! I have nephews. That is enough for me. I just have to hope now, that when I become old and certifiably crazy, that one of them will take me in. There are four of you, you can draw straws.

Yet another crazy tangent. This entire post is a tangent of a tangent. Ponder that for a while.

then do it anyway

Oh dear, watched Roadtrip Nation again. I talked about the show before here. This time it was 3 recent college graduates. And the quote that one of the people they interviewed that stuck with me this time was, “Commit... then figure it out”. His name is Jimmy Chin, who is a photographer and climber. He’s climbed Everest as an expedition photographer. After graduating college he lived out of the back of his Subaru for 7 years.

I’m not going to do that. It’s already been over 7 years since I graduated from Graduate school. But I like what he said. It’s what he did. He knew that he needed to climb and ski, so he did. Which led him to photography, and got photo’s published, which led to expeditions... etc. You can see his full interview here.

I like to think that I am doing the same. I have committed to opening my own business. I don’t have a job, I don’t have any money, I don’t have any business experience, never took a business class in all those years of college. I don’t have wealthy family members or friends. Neither of my college degrees have anything to do with the retail/restaurant business. I may fail, I may not. Whether or not I fail or succeed isn’t the point really. It’s what happens during the journey that is important.

It has taken a long time to get to the point where I am now in the whole process. And it isn’t very far... at least to me anyway. There is still a lot that needs to happen before this business can become a reality. It has taken almost a year now... just to write my business plan. That is dreadfully scary. I hope that the rest of the process before opening doesn’t take that long. But, I have learned quite a bit in that time. It wasn’t a waste of time, perhaps a bit mismanaged, but not wasted. I’ve learned how to write a business plan, create a menu, make financial projections, a bit about commercial real estate, types of loans, investors, etc. I’ve also met some pretty neat people who really want me to succeed. The people at the Chamber of Commerce, the Small Business Development Center, the Economic Development Center, the Welcome Center, the Downtown Association, and the City Planners and others at City Hall.

Everyone I have talked to has said it will be hard and difficult to do what I want to do. But they all have also given me advice and encouragement to keep going and do it. No one has said to me, “don’t do it” or “don’t even try”. At this point, I’m not sure I would even listen to someone with that kind of negativity.

It’s like the quote from the last time I wrote about Roadtrip Nation. “Feel the fear, and do it anyway.”

Gelato Overload

*As I write this I am in the Charlotte airport in North Carolina way too early for my one of three flights home from Carpigiani Gelato University. The rain was pouring in Winston Salem and I didn’t have anything I wanted to see, so I left the hotel at checkout time and came down to Charlotte. The rain poured all the way here. So here I am 3 hours early, already checked the rental car and through security. So glad this airport has free wifi. On with the show. My flights to North Carolina were... well... it’s U.S. air travel, when is it ever enjoyable? My flight to LA was fine. The flight to Chicago was full and I was at the rear of the plane. And we were late getting into Chicago. So I had to walk very fast to get to my next connection. Got there with 5 minutes to spare, and they said, “oh they just got here and haven’t even deplaned yet.” The plane to Charlotte was old and small. The carpet was worn, the seats had no fluff, you could actually feel the metal in the seats, and it squeaked. And of course Charlotte was experiencing “weather”. We circled for 40 minutes, then got diverted to Tennessee to refuel. And back to circling Charlotte. We landed about 2 hours late. Then waited at Hertz for my car for 40 minutes because they were running out of cars??? Whatever. I then drive through the pouring rain and lightning storm for 1.5 hours up to Winston Salem. I finally got into bed at 2am (eastern standard time) and was up for my first day of class at 7am. Sorry, just had to complain. I hate traveling. I love the destinations, just not the getting there part. Day one of Gelato school: Class size was 9 people. Three of us from California, three from Canada, one from Atlanta, Virginia, and Philadelphia. Our instructor was from Bologna, Italy. She owns, I think she said 5 gelato shops, and also consults and teaches gelato classes all over the world for Carpigiani. We learned about different sugars and what they do, milks, creams, and eggs. We made three different bases. White (milk), yellow (egg yolk), and cocoa (chocolate). From the bases we can build whatever flavors we want our gelatos to be. We were divided into groups of three and we made some standard flavors such as vanilla, milk, creme (egg), chocolate, etc. Then at the end of the day she had us create something all our own. Our group decided to make a hazelnut mocha. And guess what? It was delicious! Our group won the taste test! Yeah, baby, yeah. The second day each student had to create their own again, and I made sweet potato. Suppose to be pumpkin but they couldn’t find canned pumpkin in the store. It tasted pretty good, could have been better with added spices (didn’t have nutmeg). But my presentation was good.

Each and every day was packed full of math. I had no idea I was going to have to remember my algebra. Calculating percentages and if A is this and B is that and you need X percent to get C, etc. And god forbid we have to calculate all this in our crappy American measurement system! Oh my. I will be doing everything in grams and kilos, thank you very much! We learned how to create different bases with different ingredients and how each ingredient affects the taste, texture, and consistency of the gelato, fruit gelato, and sorbets. By the end it was almost overwhelming. So much info packed into 5 days. Also learned what machines I will need to start the business. Anyone have $100,000.00 just laying around they don’t need? The class was fun, our instructor was fun and engaging, my fellow classmates were fun and interesting. We all went out to eat our last night together. Of course it was Italian. Our instructor looked at the menu and said, “this isn’t Italian”. bwahahahahaha. After we went into this frozen custard shop and critiqued their shop, presentation, and taste. I don’t think they liked us very much. tee hee. But their presentation was horrible. So much info packed into 5 days I can’t possibly tell you all about it. Well I could but then where would all the excitement be when I open my shop and you all know my secrets?

I didn’t do much sightseeing while there. Class ended at 5pm everyday, except our last day, so there wasn’t much time to do anything. However I did go walk around Old Salem which is where some persecuted Moravian religious Europeans settled in 1771. They are still there and still live in these really cool old houses. And I went to the Reynolda House, which some lady named Katherine decided her family was going to be self supporting and grew their own veggies, grains, etc and eventually grew their own town. The house is now a museum of American Art and the grounds, outbuildings, and town are now shops and restaurants. The house was pretty cool though. They had a pipe organ in the “parlor” and the pipes and tubes were placed throughout the second, third story, and attic. Plus the basement had a pool table, bowling alley, shooting range, squash court, an art deco bar, and swimming pool! Wake Forest University now owns and maintains the extensive gardens and land used as pasture. So all in all, well worth the money spent for the class and expenses to get here. Now I have to sit in packed airplanes again. Oh joy. * airport won’t let me upload photos or this document so you all had to wait till I got home and slept.

News Update

First blog of 2012. Today I realized (well, I’ve known for a while now) I am not a dog person. I can tolerate them and live with them, but it isn’t by choice. There’s a new dog in town. Her name is Sura. She is a ridgeless Rhodesian Ridgeback. She is almost 5 months old and belongs to my sisters husband. I live with my sister and her two teenage sons with their little weiner dog Pepper. My sister’s husband only lives here part time. So Sura is here, part time. Well, when said husband goes to work, Sura stays with us because he works 3-4 12 hour shifts. Today (Monday) he worked, my sister went to work and my nephews went to school. Which left me with Pepper and Sura. Pepper doesn’t like Sura that much. And even before my sister and her husband got Sura, I said I didn’t want another dog. But apparently I don’t have a say in the matter. Well, lets just say taking care of Sura is like taking care of a colicky toddler. They won’t stop screaming, nothing you do is right, and you can’t take your eyes off of them, and by the end of the day, you want to pull your hair out. So when my sister came home to check on us, we decided that Sura will go to doggy day care on the days that her husband works. Hurray!

Now don’t get me wrong, Sura is a very pretty dog and she is pretty smart. She is only 4 and a half months old and can sit, stay, drop things she’s not suppose to put in her mouth, plays well with other dogs, and has figured out how to open doors. She will be a very well behaved dog when she grows up and be very sociable. I just don’t want to babysit her or take care of her. She isn’t my dog. I like cats. Cats are very low maintenance. You feed them and clean their litter box. That’s it. If they like you, they may curl up and sleep on your lap. They pretty much take care of themselves. They even give themselves baths. But sister is allergic to cats, and Pepper is a neurotic territorial ferret that tries to kill cats, so we can’t have them. *sad face*

Which brings me to another subject. If and when I get my soda/ice cream/ book store, I would like to have a shop cat. It would live at the store and hang out with the books and lounge on the comfy sofa’s and chairs and be loved by all the patrons.

And what’s this soda/ice cream/book store? Well, I am still unemployed (only been working a few days to a few weeks per month doing archaeology). I’ve realized that if I stay in archaeology, that is all it will be. So I’ve decided to pursue another dream. I have many, this shop is just one. Before the shop dream, I thought I’d go back to school and become a landscaper (yet another dream). I even applied to school, but when I went to register, the classes were all full with a 20 person wait list! I took it as a sign. That maybe that dream should be put on hold and to try a different one. So on a whim while sister and I were at the bank sorting out a checking account issue, we talked with a small business manager there. He made it sound like it could be done and helped us get started. A few days later he called and said we would qualify for a SB loan to purchase the building we were looking at for the shop. Some other stuff happened and we talked to some people and met some people willing to help us, and things are rolling along. Right now I am in the process of writing up our business plan to present to some potential investors. If all goes well, my new profession will be owner and proprietor of a small business, and landlord. By no means are we even close to making this happen yet. But we should know by as early as the end of the month whether or not this dream could become reality. I really hope we can do this. It is a lot of work, and the “work” I’m putting into it now is free labor. So I am still taking archaeology jobs when they are available to me, so that I can stay afloat a bit longer. If this dream can become a reality soon, then perhaps my financial future won’t look so gloomy, like it does at the moment.

My sister and nephews, and my mom seem to be on board, but dad is a bit uneasy. But I attribute that to his personality. He is by nature a worrier. And I can understand that, we are related and I also have this particular trait. This is a huge risk that may or may not work. We shall see, and I will try to keep you posted.