My Peak Challenge 2016: What happens when you fail

So what do you do when you fail at something? Cry? Eat junk food? Stay in bed all day? Drink copious amounts of alcohol? What do you do when you fail at something big?

If you have read this blog before then you know I participated in something called My Peak Challenge last year. I wrote about it a few times. If you don't know what it was or need a refresher, click here for the beginning and here for the end result from last year. This year was of course bigger, better, and more bad-assery. It kicked off in January and culminated for the entire month of May. There was a facebook group formed for all the participants and a two month long prep program that ran from February through the end of March that included meal prep, menu's, and an exercise program with videos and tutorials. We were to pick our challenge and had the entire month of May to complete it. And of course all the while we were raising money for cancer research. I signed up for it all. I was so excited to do it again. I got my MPC 2016 t-shirt, bought the prep program and followed it every day for the entire two months. I even found and bought a rowing machine from craig's list. All the while I was trying to decide what my May challenge would be. I decided that this year it wouldn't be a physical challenge but a professional one. I kept quiet about the whole challenge this year. No weekly blog posts about good running music or embarrassing work-out mishaps. I didn't want to blurt out what my challenge was going to be. I wanted it to be a surprise.

When I left archaeology originally, it was to pursue opening a small business. My dream was to own and operate a used bookstore and gelato shop. So I started to pursue it. I wrote a business plan, started collecting books, went to classes sponsored by the SBDC (Small Business Development Center) and my local Chamber of Commerce. Learned how to make gelato from a real Italian. I put it on hold when I realized I needed money I didn't have and then my mom got sick. Well then she died, and I started My Peak Challenge 2015 last year. My sister bought me out of our house, I moved into dad's house, and I cashed out my archaeology 401k. All of a sudden, I now had money. So let's do this. Time to get this dream out of the clouds and a reality. That was going to be my May challenge. To find a building in downtown for my shop and get the necessary loans needed to get it up and running. So that's what I did. I rewrote my business plan, found the building I wanted, got my real estate agent on it, and went to a local non-profit that specializes in small businesses and their funding and the bank with my applications.

The non-profit said, "sorry, we won't fund you at this time, too high risk". The bank said the same thing. This wasn't just some normal big bank. Big banks won't even look you in the eye without coming to them with a multi-million dollar deal. I was just asking for $400,000. The bank I went to is one of the local community banks that specialize in small businesses. I tried SBA loans which are government backed and got no answers. I then asked my sister and brother-in-law to go in on it with me thinking they have collateral that I don't have and have incomes that I don't so surely the bank would like them better. Nope. The way that banks and any other financial institutions work these days are not for the common person. They work for huge conglomerates and the big money makers. They will not invest in small businesses. They just won't. They make it so hard. You have to front up to 50%, have already been in business for 3-5 years, etc. So how is someone suppose to start up, when no one will lend? You don't.

I failed. There are a ton of articles about how the current U.S. economy has killed small businesses and entrepreneurs. Google it. Read this article from Time magazine. Could I get investors? Sure, but then I have to do what they say, pay them back at their interest rate, on their terms. It wouldn't be my business, it would be theirs until I payed them off. Could I crowd fund? Sure. Could I get $300-400,000 that I need? No.

I failed. The U.S. economy failed. The only way to be an entrepreneur now is to be a 1%-er trust fund kid. And that, I am not. You have to do it outside of the traditional route. And even then you are taking a big risk. I was willing to take the risk. No one else was.

So what do you do when you fail? When your dream is dead in the water? Well, you keep getting up in the morning. You keep putting your clothes on. You keep going to that job you hate. You keep eating food. And you run. Run till you can't go any farther. You run till your tears stop flowing. You run with the music so loud you drown out the negative voice in your head telling you that you suck and you're a looser. You run. And you keep running. And get up the next day and do it all over again. Because sometimes, that's all you can do.

I did not succeed at this years My Peak Challenge. Not everyone did. Some people had to have surgeries. Others had to stop because they are on chemo treatments. Some got injured. Did these people give up because they failed to reach their peak this year? Hell no. They get up every day and go to physical therapy or to their chemo treatments. They keep going. And so will I. I will keep getting up every day. I will run because that is all I can do.

I failed. My dream of being a proud small business owner may be over, but I'm still here. And for now, I'll keep running.

The end of the Bikini 100 Challenge

If you don't know what the heck I'm about to talk about, go and read this first. Then come back. It will make more sense.

I'm an overachiever. The Peak Posse's May challenge was to challenge ourselves to 100 something. It could be fitness related like walk 100km or be able to do 100 sit-ups by months end. Or it could be something completely different. One gal did 100 random acts of kindness. I challenged myself to run 100 miles in the month. That's 31 days to run 100 miles. I broke it up into the 4 weeks in the month. Week 1 had 2 extra days, and week 4 had 1 extra day. I logged my miles by day and week and totaled up at the end of each week and put money in the jar at the end of each week. (part of the challenge is raising money for Caitriona Balfe's charity, World Child Cancer)

At the beginning I wasn't sure I would be able to pull it off. During the months of My Peak Challenge, I would run between 2-4 miles, three days a week. And those 4 mile days were hard. In order to get rest days, I would have to run 5 miles, 5 days a week. Thank god for the extra 2 days that first week. I ran 7 of the 9 days that first week, and only 2 of those days, I was able to run 5 or more miles. But because it was a longer week, I was able to exceed my weekly goals of 25 miles and ran 30.42 miles. So I had a 5 mile lead going into week 2.

Week 2 wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. I ran 5 days and had 2 rest days, and only 1 of those days did I go over 5 miles. I did a total of 22.38 that week, which cut my lead buffer down to just under 3 miles.

I challenged myself in week 3 to run 5+ miles each day. No short runs. (I know, a challenge in a challenge. Just a glutton for punishment) I noticed two things during this week. One was that I was starting to feel the impact of running this much in my feet. My lungs and legs were fine. No soreness, but my feet were starting to ache and thought I'd better do as much as I can now while I still can, before I give out. And two, it was getting easier to go farther and farther. I would chose to turn here instead of there or continue this way instead of that way which would lengthen the route by half a mile or mile. I ran 5 days that week and each run was 5+ miles, the shortest being 5.19 and the longest being 8.07. I did 29.66 miles in week 3 which put me in a good lead going into the last week.

Week 4, the last week. I ran Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday came up and for some reason I had a hard time getting myself out the door. I only needed 6 more miles to reach my 100 goal. So I told myself I could just do two shorter runs Thursday and Friday and it would be complete, ahead of schedule even. So off I go. I got to a point where I needed to make the first turn decision which would either shorten or lengthen the route. I chose to lengthen it. I kept choosing to lengthen it. I thought, hey, let's see if I can do 10 miles... like right now. I mean, that's just 2 miles short of a half-marathon. A freaking bloody half-marathon! I can totally do this. Well... I was tired at mile 5, and stopped in my front yard and watered myself with the hose. But I kept going. I stopped again at the park at mile 7.5 for the drinking fountain. I kept going. When the time came to make that last decision of turning to lengthen, I chose to go home instead. I was tired and was running like an old frumpy woman. On the home stretch I said to myself, "you fucking did it! These last few miles are icing on the cake." Oh cake...

Sorry, in dream land for a bit there. I managed 8.84 miles. Still my longest run ever to date. I collapsed as gracefully as one can in the backyard.

I ran 102.83 miles. Boom. My heels and hip bursitis tell me that yes, I can do this, but please for the love of all that is holy and covered in chocolate, don't ever do it again. Okay. Because my dad said he would match, $103 dollars (I'm rounding up) is getting donated to World Child Cancer (this link is to the just giving page where you too can donate if you wish) on behalf of The Peak Posse and $103 dollars is going to help me get new and awesome hiking boots for trekking up and down volcanoes with Balls. If you don't know who Balls is, read this.

So I did it. It was a challenge, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I thought, I'd have a hard time getting in the distance needed each day. I thought I might get sick or hurt myself in some way and not be able to finish it. Or I thought I'd just dive into a depression and just not do it. But the opposite happened. The running saved me from the dive I was on into depression. I ate lots of protein and took vitamins. I have no idea if they helped, but I knew they wouldn't hurt. I also ate my fruits and veggies. I knew I needed to keep my energy up.

I've noticed that I am leaner now. I've slimmed down. And by the time I hit mile 3, I am in the groove and just go go go, like I can just keep going forever. I do get quite parched though by mile 6. When I get home after a 6+ miler, I practically inhale my water bottle.

I bought a new hat to run in. Bought it off cafe press. It's a piece of crap. I had to restitch the patch on it, but I wanted a new hat and this is what I wanted it to say, so I fixed it and wear it.

 Even if you run on sidewalks, like I do, you must pay attention to your surroundings. No zoning out. You never know when a little yip yip will come plunging out of a bush to "chase you". And press pause on your music while waiting at a stop light. Even when you get your little flashing walking dude, wait. Make eye contact and stare those mother fuckers down! Had I not done that on one occasion I would be a blood splatter on the asphalt right now. Not one but two cars ran the red light on me.

You can stop reading now if you want, but I'm going to continue blabbing on for just a bit more. I have to share just one more thing. Some of the Posse Lassies are just starting on their health and fitness journeys and some have been discouraged by their lack of progress or success. I've been running off and on with varying success going on 5 years now. And only in this last year, starting with My Peak Challenge have I been truly successful in meeting my goals. I was never unrealistic before, but I lacked the proper motivation, I think. It takes time. I'm not the same person I was 5 years ago. I decided in January when I decided to participate in My Peak Challenge that this year was going to be all about Not Settling. Not settling for just okay. Not settling for just finishing, but to finish on fire! I'm not going to settle for not doing something or going somewhere because I don't have the money or vacation time. I'll find a way. And so, don't beat yourself up for not being able to run a mile. I couldn't even do that 5 years ago. Just starting out was torture. My entire body hurt. My lungs burned. I had an asthma attack, and I don't have asthma. When I first started, I had to walk at least half of each mile.

I will leave you with my only "fat" picture I could find from 5 years ago...

And today with $103 dollars in a jar!

and yes, that is my awesome "strong is the new skinny" tank

I did it with 3 days to spare. Next week, I'm not going to do anything. Except rest my poor feet. Then it's time to change it up again and start doing some new strength training, and if I can find a rower on craigslist or ebay, I'll give my feet some more "rest" by changing up my cardio as well.

And I think I need new running shoes too, och aye.

Trekking Volcanoes: Wright Peak of Mount Konocti

While idling after My Peak Challenge ended this past March, I was searching the internet for something to do physically. I didn't want all that work to go to waste. And I was coming down off of a high and sitting on my ass instead of working out. I needed a new goal to reach. Something to commit to that would keep me focused and working out. A few things happened. I found that climbing California's 14ers (peaks over 14,000 ft) scared the crap out of me, especially when people started mentioning ice axes and ropes. Summiting California's volcanoes (20 of them) sounded much more doable, and only one of them, Mt. Shasta, is also a 14er. And a Facebook/twitter group that I joined during My Peak Challenge decided to do a new "challenge" for May.

So, it is mid May now, and I am almost half way done with the May challenge. I'm on track! And this past Sunday I and my cohort completed our first volcano summit. Our adventure is as follows:

Balls! After mentioning on facebook my idea of climbing all of California's volcanoes, only one person said she was totally down with doing it with me. Crazy, I know, only one. I asked if she was serious, and low and behold, she was. She is fascinated by profanity and uses the word balls as a swear word. Although her favorite word at the moment is dick, I will stick to calling her Balls. Balls lives in Santa Rosa. For those of you not from California, it is north of San Francisco by about 55 miles. While researching which volcano to do first, I decided we'd best go for the closest one first. That happens to be Mount Konocti on the shore of Clear Lake in Lake County.

Red Arrow=where I live, Blue Arrow=where Balls lives, Black Arrow=Clear Lake/Mt. Konocti

Here's a quick blurb from the USGS: Clear Lake Volcanic Field is located about 90 miles north of San Francisco, California. The town of Clear Lake lies within the volcanic field as does much of the 43,000-acre fresh water lake of its namesake. The Geysers steam field, which sits at the southwest margin of the volcanic region, is host to one of the world’s most productive geothermal power plants, producing enough electricity for 850,000 homes. The heat driving the geothermal system emanates from a zone of partially molten rock (magma) deep below the greater Clear Lake volcanic system. The most prominent volcanic feature is 300,000 year-old Mount Konocti, rising about 975 m (3,200 ft) above the southwestern shore of the lake. The most recent eruptions occurred about 11,000 years ago around Mount Konocti. Although Clear Lake volcanic field has not erupted for several millennia, sporadic volcanic-type earthquakes do occur, and the numerous hot springs and volcanic gas seeps in the area point to its potential to erupt again. Monitoring in the Clear Lake region by the USGS and a collaborative effort with Calpine Corporation in the Geysers Steam Field, provides real-time tracking of earthquake activity. In addition, the USGS periodically analyzes volcanic gases and hot springs in the region.

I drove up to Balls' house Saturday night, forgot my phone, left it charging in the wall, and slept on Balls' couch. Woke up with her roommates dogs face in my face. Sunday morning we drink coffee. Coffee is important. We go to Whole Foods for snacks, and then leave for Kelseyville, where Mt. Konocti awaits us. We drive into town and turn down a road that turns to dirt. There is no signage telling you that there is a county park at the end of the road, let alone a freaking VOLCANO! Lake County is severely lacking on proper signage. This you will note is a frequent subject while Balls and I were on the trail. Balls was also somewhat shocked that I had an actual camera. Even if I hadn't forgotten my phone, it isn't a "smart" phone. So yes, I'm old school and carry an actual camera.

Look, we can take double selfies at the same time. We are awesome.

Mount Konocti is made up of five peaks (Howard Peak 4,286 ft, South Peak 4,286 ft, Buckingham Peak 3,967 ft, Clark Peak 2,880 ft, and Wright Peak 4,2999 ft). There are no trails to Clark or South peaks. Much of the area is private property. We hiked to the top of Wright Peak, which is the highest. There was a sign for the fork to Buckingham Peak, but there was absolutely no sign, post, or marker telling you that the road on the left would take you to Howard Peak. We saw it just fine from the top of Wright Peak anyway. Apparently Lake County decided having bathrooms, picnic tables, and benches everywhere was way more important than say a water spigot or proper signage telling you where the hell you are. Thank the spirits both of us printed out the crappy trail map and I had my pilfered GPS unit. Someone left it where I work and never came back to claim it. It sat in our backroom for a year. So, I'm sorry, I'm going to take it and use it. Balls was getting worried that she may not be able to make it up to the top, so we stopped at some of the many random benches for some breathers.

We finally made it to Mary Downen's cabin. Who? And why did she build a homestead on the side of a volcano? Well, once again, the signage wasn't great here. Apparently in 1903, a year after her husband died, her son-in-law Euvelle Howard (as in Howard Peak) took her up Mount Konocti on horseback and she fell in love... with the mountain. She staked a claim and paid a whooping $600. A cabin was built and she began homesteading... alone. There is no streams on the mountain and eventually she had a cistern built and her son-in-law Euvelle planted her orchard. Apparently her son-in-law moved up there. Balls and I debated why her daughter didn't move with him and talked endlessly about them most likely having an affair, but that kind of wigged us out. Ew. Euvelle is apparently buried near the homestead. The crappy signs say he is buried 500 ft from the cabin with a large "obvious" boulder with his name and dates carved in it. They even provide waypoints. But there is no path. So we plug in the waypoints into my pilfered gps and off I go uphill, off trail, looking for the "obvious" boulder. I never found him. Why the hell tell people he's up here and all and then not provide a way to actually get to him?? I don't get it. And why is he buried here and not Mary? What ever happened to her? We have no idea. We had to look her up on the internet during dinner. Found where she is buried. She's in Lakeport and shares her husbands marker. So she was buried on top of him, or next to him. I don't know. There is hardly anything about Mary on the internet. It's all the same little bit on every site we could find. She seemed like a very interesting person. Who decides to homestead on a volcano as a widower in her 50's in 1903? She sounds awesome. I want to know what happened to her. How long was she on the mountain? Where's her privy? How did she die? There is nothing! Now, there is obviously some archaeological records out there on her homestead. They fenced off her cabin and dump and there are pin flags everywhere. So those of you who still have access to CHRIS can maybe help a girl out?? Yes?

Mary Downen's Orchard

Anyway, we walked through Mary's orchard debating what kind of trees they are. Again, no signage saying anything about that. I said fruits, Balls said nuts. Of course she did. I think we were both right. We got eaten by mosquitoes, so dicided to get back up on the trail to our summit... after a pit stop at a random bathroom and picnic table.

We made it to the summit of Wright Peak! Great views. Top of the world... or Lake County anyway. While I was taking this pic of Balls, she took this one.

There is a fire lookout and cell tower on the top. The fire lookout was closed in 2005, technology and all that made it useless to stick a person up there 24/7 during fire season. There are some interesting stories about this mountain/volcano but I will spare you. I will say that I'm impressed that the Pomo name for the mountain remains. As with most of the history of white settlers, army, and Indians, things did not go well for the Pomo and Wapo that call this area home.

Clear Lake from Wright Peak

View of Howard Peak from Wright Peak

Balls' best Capt. Morgan pose

Our summit selfie

Our experience of Mt. Konocti has only wetted our appetite for more volcanoes, despite us being in Lake County and their lack of trail signage. We realized that both of us have forgotten much of our botany skills and need to brush up on them, not that we had any to begin with. And we need to do more pre-field research and learning before our next volcanic adventure. So 1 down, 19 to go.

My Next Fitness Challenge, lord help me

As you can see by the picture on the left, I've decided to do a new "challenge". During the #MyPeakChallenge I did starting in January and culminating on March 14-15, I joined a Facebook group called The Peak Posse. It's a group of mostly women who did My Peak Challenge where we give support, offer advice, and tell each other our horror stories about getting healthy and fit, etc. The group also fundraises for the actors in Outlander (tv show) chosen charities. My Peak Challenge raised money for Leukemia and Lymphoma Research which was Sam Heughan's chosen charity. The Peak Posse has decided to continue on and do a new challenge for Caitriona Balfe's chosen charity which is World Child Cancer.

The new challenge starts May 1, and lasts just this month. The 100 part can be anything you want. Write 100 letters, walk 100 miles, be able to do 100 push-ups by the end of the month, etc. Here's the scoop from The Peak Posse: Hope you don't mind me posting it here.

Dear Peak Posse Lassies,
In request to a new "challenge" we have come up with "Cait's Bikini 100 Challenge to Knock Out Childhood Cancer". (I know a mouthful right?) So for short lets just tag it as the "Bikini 100 Challenge".
As the title suggests, this challenge will help the lovely Caitriona's charity as WE prepare for bikini season. Just as we did with My Peak Challenge, each person will set their own individual challenge and their own donation rate.
The challenge will start May 1 and end on May 31st. That's right lassies, you have 30 days to complete your challenge.
Now you ask, "Why the 100?" Right?
Well YOU will chose what 100 physical or mental challenge you want to complete. For example, I want to walk 100 miles in May, or complete 100 sit-ups or squats in May, or knit 100 items for charity. Are you still with me here? GOOD!
Now for each #1 of the #100 you complete you will make your donation into Cait's jar. So if I'm going to donate $1 for every mile I walked, then I would place that amount in Cait's jar as I complete it (you can donate whatever you are able to do. More or less is fine).
Now what the heck is Cait's jar you're thinking! Am I right ? Haha Each person should take a jar or box or whatever you have and decorate it for the challenge. We will include a way for you to print off a pic of our bikini logo and ask that if you feel moved to, please change your profile pic or avi on twitter to the logo...

...On June 1 we will all donate our funds...
One more thing we are asking you to use the hashtag ‪#‎PPBikiniChallenge‬ on twitter.
I hope this is relatively simple to understand. We wanted to make it a short challenge that would be fun and would support Caitriona's wonderful charity as well.
Good Luck You Lovely Lassies! You know we are all here for support so post away on the goal you set and your progress.

I've chosen to run 100 miles the month of May. That's 31 days, 100 miles. I'm scared I won't be able to do it, but that's the point of a challenge isn't it? Since My Peak Challenge ended, I've had a hard time keeping up with the exercising. I've been kind of lost, with no goals to achieve, etc. The Posse Sisters want those of us doing the challenge to have a jar and decorate it however we like to put the money we raise in. So since I am running 100 miles, every mile = $1.00 in the jar. At the end, I plan on donating half to World Child Cancer and the other half goes to my funds for new hiking boots. I can't remember how I killed my last pair of boots. Back when I was still an archaeologist full-time, I went through a pair a boots a year. They are expensive. And I will need a good pair of boots for my upcoming adventures that I haven't told you all about yet... but I will, soon, I promise.

So, wish me luck, or have me committed to the looney bin, which ever works best. This will certainly be a challenge.

Almost forgot, I stopped weighing myself last year. I honestly don't know how much I weight. I came to terms and accepted that the amount I weigh is not important. How I feel and look is. So during the My Peak Challenge I exercised my ass off. And I started noticing muscle and such. Anyway, the other night, a regular customer came in where I work and commented that he noticed I had lost weight, and he wanted to commend me. I was shocked that anyone even noticed anything. The changes I saw in myself were, I thought, small. He made my night. I have shrunk a size in jeans I think, since I now need a belt. So woo hoo. Off to go run my ass off some more!

My Peak Challenge: The Epic Weekend Finale

We must all listen to this, my last song selection from the playlist, while we read. Because if I wrote this, it means I survived and I'm not giant kitty food or lying at the bottom of a ravine.

On Top of The World by Imagine Dragons

Now that it's playing, on with the show.

Saturday: EPIC PI DAY (March 14, 2015) Sadly, I didn't eat any pie.
Super duper ultra thanks to my new friend and fellow My Peak Challenge member, Double L for inviting me to join her on the De Anza Trail on Saturday. I was a bit nervous to say yes. But I'm always a bit nervous when I meet people for the first time. You are awesome. I had a nice time. Next time we should have lunch after in town. I don't know about you, but my tummy was rumbling by the time I got home.

We did a total of 6 miles. We made it to mile marker 3, which is the farthest Double L has ever gone on the trail. So yay! And just in case you don't want your picture on my blog, here are some highlights without your face front and center.

Sunday: Et tu Brute (March 15, 2015)

While the guy who started the #MyPeakChallenge was running the LA Marathon, I was sleeping. I didn't want to get up. I knew there would be no heroic shots at the top of Mt. Willson today. Because I knew I wasn't going to be able to do the hike I wanted. Ms. Certifiable went certifiable and couldn't make it. I was angry. I've been running my ass off for 2 months (literally, my ass has fallen off like 3 times) to get ready for this big day. I was ready. It will have to wait. I decided I couldn't stay mad at Ms. Certifiable, there's no point. Shit happens and you get over it and move on. We will conquer Henry Coe another day. So I decided to make the best of it. Because I went with Double L yesterday to San Juan Batista, today I can do what I had originally planned to do for that day today instead. And that was this: 7-8ish miles up and back down Mt. Madonna. I started in Sprig day-use. Trails included were merry-go-round, loop trail cut-off, upper miller, blue springs, and sprig.

Lupine!!!!

first redwood grove on the way up

looks like the top... but it isn't. more to climb

made it to the miller ruins

at the top, sitting on miller's front steps

that's twisted!

on the way down

on the way down

I don't think people knew how important it was for me to do this this weekend. I don't think I even know. I just had to do... something. And if I had to go by myself, then I had go by myself. Did I join My Peak Challenge to raise money for leukemia and blood cancer research? Eh, honestly, no. I donated a whopping $5 bucks. I needed motivation to get back out there after my mom died. It worked. I'm running again. I have no idea if I lost weight, honestly, that isn't important to me anymore. I don't know what my weight is. But I'm getting muscle definition, I'm getting healthier. I haven't had a soda in 69 days. I think that's a new record. I hate the taste of fast food now. I'm going to keep it up. I just have to decide what my next peak challenge will be. I'm not done yet.

My Peak Challenge Music: Week 9

 It's the final week in #MyPeakChallenge. So here is the (sort of) last song selection from the playlist. This is about as "girly" as I get when it comes to this particular playlist.

 In Love Again by Rogue Traders

Who are Rogue Traders? They're Australian. I was told about them way back when I was fangirling hard over Moonlight back in 2007. A fellow fan named mini moon, who happens to be Australian, told me about them when I asked her what music was popular/what she liked where she lived. They are no longer a band. Such is life. One of their songs, Voodoo Child from the Here Come the Drums album was in a Dr. Who episode from the 10th Doctor David Tennant era. The episode (New Season 3, episode 12) where John Simm was The Master who heard a constant drumming in his head. Now if you don't know anything or have never watched Dr. Who, we are no longer friends. I'm kidding. No I'm not.

My Peak Challenge Music: Week 8

This list wouldn't be complete without something from Linkin Park.
So here is the song Robot Boy off their A Thousand Suns album.

It may be a strange choice considering they have many more "rawr" uptempo songs to choose from, but it's because of these lyrics mostly:

You say the weight of the world
Has kept you from letting go
And you think compassion's a flaw
And you'll never let it show
And you're sure you've hurt in a way
That no one will ever know
But someday, the weight of the world
Will give you the strength to go

To My Mom Part V: Music

I was working on making my mom a playlist for her to listen to while she was taking chemo. Once a month, she would have a long chemo session where they would pump in something that would help strengthen her bones. This would usually be an hour to an hour and a half session. So I wanted to make her something that she could listen to while they pumped chemicals into her port.

I never finished it. I only got five songs on it before she passed away. Now don't get offended but I called it "fuck cancer". I wasn't going to label it that when I gave it to her. But it is what it is labeled in my itunes. I was listening to the radio in my car when I heard an old U2 song and I immediately thought, "this would be a perfect song for mom, I need to make her a playlist." Well that one U2 song was the only song on the list for a very long time. I had a hard time finding other songs. What I find as inspiring songs and what I thought my mom would find inspiring songs are two very different things. Somehow I don't thing she would enjoy Rage Against The Machine.

Well, here are the 5 songs I did find:

One Tree Hill by U2

Adiemus by Adiemus

Strawberry Swing by Coldplay

I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz

Strong by London Grammar

On the rare occasions that I was the one driving her to the chemo center, she would listen to one of two cd's that someone had given her. They were religious cd's. (Discovery Singers and Haven Quartet) Many of the songs I remember singing in church. They helped calm her nerves. I knew she was anxious, when she would ask me to turn it up. Sometimes, I'd be in the back jumper seat of the truck while dad was driving her to an appointment that she wanted me to go to as well. I am glad that these cd's gave her comfort. But I had a hard time listening to them. I think at the time, it was because I was angry. Not at her, but at her God. How can she be so faithful and find comfort in a God that allowed this to happen to my mother. How dare he! What did she ever do to deserve this. I didn't understand how through suffering, one finds grace and comfort in God. Well, I still don't, but that wasn't my journey to take. That was mom's.

I suppose this isn't what you thought it would be about when you saw the title. I may do a music part 2 post later about her playing Axel F from Beverly Hills Cop so loud that the cd actually skipped. A CD skipping! That's some decibels.

Well, mom has been gone four months now. I'm still angry. And I still say, Fuck Cancer. Dad finished his "project" tonight. I was reading through it. It was late and shut down the laptop. Got ready for bed, and thought, I need to watch the video we made for the memorial. I had one of the songs we put on it in my head. So I turned it back on, and watched the video. Then I thought, well I can't go to sleep with any of those songs in my head. I need to listen to something else. So then I went into the fuck cancer playlist and thought, I'd just listen to the U2 song. Well, I'm now on the third listen to the 5 song playlist and wrote a post.

This is what happens when you get a song stuck in your head and have to do something about it. Well, me anyway.

Music is very powerful to me. It can bring me out of a funk. It can help me cope with depression. It can motivate me to run farther. Go faster. It can calm my nerves. It can make me angry. It can make me cry. It can make me laugh, smile. Sharing songs here on the blog that have helped me through something or inspired me is important to me. Sharing the music is very much like sharing the words and thoughts that come spilling out of my head here on the blog. It's therapeutic. And somehow, I hope that by doing so also helps whomever reads these. It's why I've been sharing songs off my running playlist these past few months during #MyPeakChallenge.

I've known for a long time now... maybe since my late teens that mom and I were both very sensitive to music and how it affects us emotionally, psychologically, and physically. She needed to sing. She needed to be involved in it. Immerse herself in it. It's why she joined the South Bay Singers. Seeing her up there on that stage and hearing them sing was amazing. It brought me to tears. It was emotional. It was physical. It was beautiful. They were so passionate and powerful. She was in it. She was part of it. I can't really describe it. It was like I was witnessing something normally intangible.

Music just does that.


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My Peak Challenge: Music Week 7

Week 7 belongs to The XX. How is that a band name? And how do you say it? Is is "ex ex" or "ten ten" or "twenty"? Who cares, this is a cool song.

Intro by XX

I think I found this when I was going through my "OMG Twilight" phase. Lord, am I glad that is over. I have the entire album, but don't really like when they actually sing, so the Intro is all I listen to. Perhaps it's time to give it another listen.

Shakespearean Taxidermy on a Bloody Monday

Everyone seems to hate Mondays. Usually, I am one of them. Today it was the beginning of a new week. Last week sucked. Nothing horrible happened, but I was not having it. Customers and co-workers alike, kept getting on my nerves. Everyone seemed to annoy me. To a point where I was about to punch people in the face. I would never actually punch someone in the face on purpose*, but I was totally about to do it in my head.

I didn't do very well with my workouts last week either. John Valbonesi (the dude I can hardly understand who runs Fight Camp Glasgow that is the trainer of Sam Heughan (the hot actor dude who helped start the MyPeakChallenge thing I'm doing) said it was time to do the fitness tests again to see how we are improving, so I re-did test 1 on Monday of last week and made myself sore the rest of the week. Wow, how 'bout that sentence! Anyway, I did improve. But I can only do lunges so fast before I fall over and squish my cat that likes to walk and plop down round my arms while I try and do burpees. I did 11 more burpees than before and can now hold a 2 minute plank. Wednesday all I did was the burpee test, and Friday?... Well, the night before I decided to finish a book I was reading. I finished it at 4am. So I slept in. The book was totally worth it. It was hilarious! So, yeah, last week wasn't the best. Here's the book:

And yes that is a taxidermy mouse with a Shakespearean neck ruffle and Dracula cape holding an alas poor Yorick mouse skull.

Today, I got to start anew. And I did. And it felt great. Until I did my taxes. I owed this year. That totally sucked. And that put a damper on the day. Apparently extremely poor minimum wage workers who are just above the super extremely poo(r)** minimum wage workers don't get a tax break for being extremely poor minimum wage workers.

I don't know where to go from here in this post. Don't quite know what I'm trying to say. Well, let's just say I have no real point. This is so not how I saw this post shaping out to be.

The End




*I would totally punch someone in the face on accident, I can be quite clumsy.
**the "r" is silent when you're that poor.

My Peak Challenge: Music Week 6

This weeks pick from the playlist is...

Believer by American Authors

Never heard of them? Where have you been? It is from their debut album, so I guess you have a bit of an excuse. Another song from their debut album is Best Day of My Life. Maybe you've heard it on the radio or that Lowe's commercial or the movie trailer for Earth to Echo, or How to Train Your Dragon 2, or St. Vincent. I think they're going places... at least to the movies! I just can't help myself sometimes, I'm sorry.

My Peak Challenge: Music Week 5

This weeks musical selection is brought to you by two dancing robot men. Huh? It's okay, they're French. That should explain everything.

End Title Sequence from TRON Legacy by Daft Punk.

They are currently more famous for Get Lucky, and just being weird robot men when they have to make public appearances. But I loved the soundtrack they did for the movie. The movie was just so-so. I was hoping for spectacular visuals, and sort of got them, but the story itself is a let down, but I knew that going in. The music was pretty sweet. Good job weird robot men.

My Peak Challenge: Music Week 4

This week's selection is this:

Magic by Fauxliage

Leigh Nash does the vocals on this. She doesn't sing a word in this song but, you still might recognize her voice. I think it is distinctive anyway. It's beautiful. She is also the lead singer of Sixpence None The Richer. Fauxliage was a collaboration between Nash and some Canadian group called Delerium. Their entire album is pretty cool. If you like the song, check out the rest of that collaboration. However, it is not workout music. It is actually quite melancholic. For you TV geek girls, two of the songs from this album were featured on Moonlight (2007), hint hint, the infamous shower scene.

My Peak Challenge: Superbowl Sunday Edition

Instead of watching the game and eating chips, I took a short hike with Han... Solo. Yes, The Han Solo. See?

I have successfully made it through three weeks of my so called training for the #MyPeakChallenge, and thought I needed a nice reward/let's see how stiff my hiking legs really are.

It was a beautiful, sunny, warm, yet a bit windy winter day here. I went up to Harvey Bear Ranch which is a working cattle ranch and a County Park. There are signs to remind you to close the gates behind you, lest a creature of the bovine sort escapes. (If you click on the link to Harvey Bear Ranch, it links to the counties website for the park which also contains Coyote Lake. There is a picture of a boat and skier, front and center. But the site says "this reservoir is closed to boating" Oh the irony!)

I saw 9 deer, geese, and turkeys. And met a lovely lady and her horse who thought he was a dog. The lady came up on her horse dog and said "He loves being petted, do you mind?" And he came right up to me and was all, please pet me, please please please. So I pet him. A lot. Met back up with the Lady and her horse dog at the end of the loop. She said, "wow there were a lot of deer out there". And I said, "yeah, I saw nine". "Nine?" she says... "there was at least a herd of 15 when you petted my horse dog!"

My excuse for not seeing the 15 member herd is that I was not perched on her horse dog. She had the better view.

Being out here reminded me why it is important to get outside into nature. It was so peaceful. Quiet. Fresh air does wonders for the soul. It really does.

I also made it back home in time for my dad to yell at me to come watch. It was the last minute of the game. So I got in a hike and the best part of the football/hockey game. I win!

My Peak Challenge: Fitness Test #2

So, yeah. This is week 3 for me, and still kicking. The #MyPeakChallenge peeps just released our second fitness test. Which happens to be 2000 meters on a rowing machine to time. I don't have a rowing machine. And I don't belong to a gym that would have a rowing machine. And I have no desire, ever, to join a gym. There are people there. PEOPLE! I don't do people. Especially a lot of people. And there are a lot of people at gyms this time of year. All staring at me. Watching me giggle my giggly bits. Nope.

So anyway... I've decided on a different test. In my exploration of new running routes in the new neighborhood, there is one that is just shy of 2 miles (that's a 3k and some change). So I will run that as fast as I can. And see how much I can improve on time/mile pace. My natural pace as of now averages to 10 minute miles, give or take.

Today I ran the short circut, which today was 1.75 miles, which is also strange cus I did the same exact run last week and it was 1.85 miles. I blame the ipod being extremely low on battery life for this. Well, I ran it as fast as I could. Averaged 9.43 minutes per mile.

Please excuse the smell of my awesome saucy sweat stained clothing that I only wash once a week (ew) and the heavy breathing fellow walkers/joggers/people in cars with their windows down waiting for me to cross the damn street.

Also, since the weather has been so bright and cheery, my amazing tan is coming back. In that the ankle sock tan line, and the shorts tan line, and the shirt sleeve tan line, and the oh so lovely ipod strap tan line are back!

My Peak Challenge: Music Week Three

Mock me if you must, but it's great to run to.

Everything's Magic by Angels and Airwaves

Which is basically Blink-182 minus a few guys when they were having their teenager hissy fit. They've since made-up, by the way.

My Peak Challenge: Music Week 2

Here is this weeks song from the playlist

It's Annie You Save Me by Graffiti6

Apparently it was featured on Teen Wolf, go figure. Anyway, that is not how I discovered them. I was surfing through itunes late one night and clicked. Isn't that how it usually happens?

Also, this song is great if your name happens to be Annie, which mine is not. Now I'm sad my name isn't Annie.

Burpees, bloody burpees. Why must I torment myself?

Man, I hate burpees. Whomever created burpees should be drug out into the street and shot. Yeah, I said it. It's the end of my first week of #MyPeakChallenge. I survived. They wanted us to do a fitness test to see where we are physically, and will be doing it again a few more times to gauge our improvement. That's where the burpees came from. I would not do them otherwise. They are evil, pure evil.

The test was in three parts. Part one was a 10 minute test of how many rounds you could complete of squats, push-ups, lunges, and sit-ups. 10 reps of each (20 lunges because you have 2 legs). I also hate push-ups because I suck at them and also because my wrists are dainty precious fragile things. I have both tendonitis and carpel tunnel in my wrists. So doing normal push-ups aggravates it. Me no want that shit up in here. So I strap on two lovely wrist braces and use dumbbells instead of laying my hands flat on the ground. So far so good.

Part two was a 5 minute test of how many burpees you could do. *shivers*

Part three was how long you could hold a plank. Again, wrist issues, so I do a plank on my forearms, i.e. elbows down.

My beginning stats: test one: 3 3/4 rounds, test two: 40, test three: 1 minute 20 seconds.

Not to bad for someone who can no longer sit on a toilet seat without grimacing.

I started out just working out 3 days, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I was concerned my lungs would be most out of shape, due to the *fungus amoungus, but it turns out my lungs are just fine. It's my legs I can no longer move properly. Go figure.

Monday I did a bit of strength training and ran 4.06 miles. I was sore later that night. Wednesday, I did test one and then did a 1.95 mile run. More sore. Thursday I did the plank test because there was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to be able to do the bloody burpees. I saved them for last. I did the burpee test on Friday and did a 2.96 mile run. Would have been a shorter run, but I am running in a new neighborhood, and found a paved path along a creek, and decided to see where it went and I wanted to escape it early but would have to climb a fence to get out to a street, so decided I had to see where it ended instead. I made it back home just before dark. It was close. Oh, and a bug decided to fly into my eyeball. That was fun.

So to celebrate not dying from burpees and surviving week one, a little whiskey is in order.

Whiskey tasting at Sonoma Co. Distillery

Me, enjoying the fine Whiskey

Slainte!


*The fungus amoungus is Valley Fever. I've talked about it before here, or if you like, you can learn what it is here.

My Peak Challenge: Music Week One

So I've decided to share a song a week from my workout playlist. It is what I listen to when I run. Songs come and go on it. As of right now there are 47 songs on it and over 3 hours. So Every day, I get different songs.

The first one is Extreme Ways by Moby.

This has been the theme song for The Bourne Trilogy movies as well as its spin-off The Bourne Legacy. I can't remember if I first heard it in the first Jason Bourne movie or before. But it has been on every playlist since then. It is the one song that HAS to be on it. And when it comes up in the rotation, I get excited. For some reason, I never tire of it.

There are many versions. Moby does a remix of it for every Bourne movie, so that's at least 4 versions, right there. But I think the original is still my favorite.

Enjoy the listen, and perhaps add it to your own playlist.

My Peak Challenge

I'm going back on my word. Sorry, not sorry. Long ago in a land not far from here, I said I would stop talking about my oh so exciting exercise and getting healthy drama. I told you all sorry here. Well, I'm going to be going back on that promise for a while. At least till mid March anyway. Why? Well, let me tell you.

The last day that I got outside and ran was September 29th, 2014 (I know this because I kept track on my kitty cat wall calender). Ironically that's exactly one month prior to the day my mom passed away from cancer (October 29th, 2014). I'm not sure my subconscious knew that something was up. Maybe it knew I should have been spending that time with my mom instead of out running circuits in my neighborhood. When she was in the hospital those last two weeks, it was never a choice. It was go see mom. November and December came and went. Now that it is January, I've decided that it's time to finally get outside again. I'm not one who makes New Years Resolutions. I would break them within a week or so. So I gave up on that silly stuff long ago. I've realized that the past two years or so, that I've settled. I never reached the goals I had set. I told myself, that that was okay. That I was healthy, and I wasn't fat or gaining weight. So it was okay. But it isn't. I shouldn't settle. So this year will be all about NOT SETTLING. And that is not just in my get healthy for reals part of my life. In everything. But in the get healthy for reals part I actually want to see my abs and not the muffin top. I want to eat healthy and get off processed foods. And so, to get me back out there and get my ass moving again, I've decided on #MyPeakChallenge.

I knew I needed some type of motivation to get me going again. I needed some sort of goal (not the end goal) to get me motivated and moving. And this fits... perfectly. I won't tell you all about the challenge's details here. Click on the link above and read all about it yourself. You can do it. It's not that hard, just mouse up and click. I'll wait...

Now that you're back and informed I had to decide on what my challenge would be. The event takes place March 14-15, 2015. That's not long from now. So a marathon was out. Not that I want to do a marathon anyway. So was doing an actual mountain peak. Mt. Lassen and Mt. Whitney (which are on my must conquer list) are out do to snow and permits respectively.

Mt. Lassen

Mt. Whitney

So what can I train for for two months? Two hikes. Crazy, but I've been wanting to go backpacking again. Time made me forget about the back spasms I guess. First will be hiking up Mt. Madonna (Mt. Madonna County Park) from outside the park. The second will be doing a 12 mile back country hike in Henry Coe State Park.
Here's a really bad pic of what I will be doing at Mt. Madonna:

it may look big, but it's only 6 miles or so

And well here is a link to the Henry Coe hike. I can't seem to figure out how to get a good topo pic. But in my defense, it is 1:42am.

And now for the history: You can skip this part if you want. This is just the scholarly part of me trying to make you all learn something.

Mt. Madonna is one of the largest parks in Santa Clara County, it being a county park. It sits at the top of Hecker Pass in the Santa Cruz Mountains between Gilroy in the east (where I live) and Watsonville in the west. Besides the park where you can go hiking, biking, horse riding, archery, and camping, there is also the Mt. Madonna Center. This is a temple (Sankat Mochan Hanuman Temple), retreat, yoga, learning institute, etc. It is also home to Mt. Madonna School. This is a k-12 school hosted by the Center that has a focus on the arts. Now what I find interesting is that the ruins of Henry Miller's summer home is in the park. Miller is quite famous in Gilroy. He was a cattle baron from the 1850's till his death in 1916. There is a street named after him in Gilroy. He also helped establish the city of Los Banos. A cool old work related fact is that SCE (Southern California Edison) an electric company bought land and water rights from him along the San Joaquin River for their Hydroelectric Systems in Big Creek. If you have read any of my older stuff about my archaeology days, you know that I spent a great deal of time in and out and about SCE's Big Creek Hydroelectric Project. In Gilroy, he is famous for stealing land and cattle from less prosperous folks. And the coup de gras is that there is a ghost story about his youngest daughter. She died when she was 8 when she fell off her horse and it crushed her. She was riding in Mt. Madonna. They say she haunts the campgrounds and the old Mt. Madonna Inn. You can read about it here. It's awesome.

I'll save you the enormous yet pretty cool and interesting history of Henry Coe State Park. I did a day hike there years ago with a friend, if you like you can read that here. The short version is this: Henry Coe had an ginormous ranch called Pine Ridge Ranch which had over 12,000 acres. He gave it to his son, Coe Jr. who was an idiot and sold it to Beach Land and Cattle Company in 1948. Coe's kick ass daughter Sada, bought it back in 1950. She donated the property to Santa Clara County in 1953, and so it is named after her father. The state eventually took ownership over the county and things happened. It almost got shutdown in 2012, but got saved by awesome people with money and the Pine Ridge Association. The park is still growing in size. It is over 67,000 acres now.

I'm now done with today's lesson.

I have asked my "certifiable" friend to join me on the hikes. This is the same "certifiable" friend from the adventures in backpacking the Skyline to the Sea Trail that you can re-read here if you like. If she is able to get both days off of work like I hope, she will join me both days. If she can only get one of the days, then the day she gets off we will do Henry Coe. I'm not about to venture into the back country on my own. I ain't stupid! Whether or not she decides to join in the challenge or not, is up to her. I'm most excited about the t-shirt I get. I realize I have a problem.

Now, just a few more things. I found this particular motivation via my geekiness. I will write about much of this in a different post, but let's just say that I started reading a book series called Outlander back in September. I tried starting it years ago, but never got passed the first 100 pages or so. Then the tv gods decided to make it into a tv show, so, I thought, ok, better try it again. Well, I finished the series back in December. (that's 8 books peeps). These books helped get me through the last month of my mothers life and the first two months after her death. I would read till my eyes burned and could no longer focus. The books were my escape from reality. It was the only way I could get to sleep at night. So, I also watch the tv show and geek out and drool online. Which is how I found out about #MyPeakChallenge. I thought it was a good fit since by joining the challenge I am also donating to a worthy charity. Granted my mom didn't have this type of cancer (blood cancer), she did have myelogous leukemia the last few weeks or so when her myeloma spread out of her bone marrow and into her blood stream. The peeps running the challenge are also avid outdoorsy mountain climbing nuts, which I am as well, so it all seemed to fit nicely.

So to start I have been off my precious soda for 7 days as of the posting of this. And here I am after the first run since the last, 106 days ago.

4.06 miles in 40 minutes, I still got this

Oh God, I think I'm going to die