To My Mom Part VI: The Road Trip Edition 2.0

Way back in April 2013, my mom and I did a road trip to Los Angeles. I wrote a post about it. Before I share the link to it, a few observations. My mom had cancer at the time, it just wasn't diagnosed yet. I knew she had health issues at the time. She had a hard time getting around. She couldn't walk long distances. I was somewhat upset at her lack of mobility back then. I kept it all internal though. I did not voice my displeasure at having to cater to her needs. We got her diagnosis a little more than 4 months after this trip. I didn't know it at the time, when you read the last sentence you will understand, it was the last road trip we would take together.

Here's the link: LA Adventures

She catered the trip around her friends and family, as always. Her friend number 2 passed away just a few months after our visit. So we made it just in time. I actually think she used taking me to the book fair as her excuse to see her friends. I had no issues being used like that.

I mentioned in my previous post in this To My Mom Series, that my dad had finished a "project". And said I may or may not share here. He gave his permission. So here it is. It's an online memorial. The family was deciding what to do with mom's emails and letters she had written during her cancer "adventure". (she called it an adventure, I'm not kidding) A family friend had put a lot of them together for my dad. My sister saw them and said it's like a book. Mom had written a book via her emails to her support group about her journey with cancer. What can we do with this? So this is what my dad did with it all.

It's a closed link, in that it is not searchable or linked to anything.

www.paravel.com/carol

So here's to my mom who used me (more than once) to see her important people.




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My Peak Challenge: Music Week 6

This weeks pick from the playlist is...

Believer by American Authors

Never heard of them? Where have you been? It is from their debut album, so I guess you have a bit of an excuse. Another song from their debut album is Best Day of My Life. Maybe you've heard it on the radio or that Lowe's commercial or the movie trailer for Earth to Echo, or How to Train Your Dragon 2, or St. Vincent. I think they're going places... at least to the movies! I just can't help myself sometimes, I'm sorry.

Summer Stay-cation: Day 2

It's okay that I really didn't do much today, right? It is a vacation after all.

I slept til 11:00 am. Awoke to a nephew taking a shower while playing very loud music. I put in my earplugs... I still heard it.

Made coffee.

Ate breakfast and drank coffee and played on the internet.

Went running. This isn't a vacation from exercise, must maintain the wondrously formed muffin top. I did 3 miles today. The creepy Tiger Woods told me I had logged my fastest mile on my ipod. yay

I sat out in the backyard and watched the bees. And a wasp. Will have to find that nest.

Decided to watch the Mexico World Cup game, but it wasn't on. :(

So decided to go to Wallgreens for toothpaste and shampoo. The person who I thought was taking a nap in their car all day in the shade of our trees was actually out of gas. I saw her putting gas in her car. She then asked for a jump, so I did my "good deed" of the day and gave her a jump... and then went to Wallgreens.

I watched a movie.

Then I watched the latest episode of my favorite "guilty pleasure", the CW's Beauty and the Beast.

So not much today, but still a good one, I think.

Guilty pleasures in the mail and the appropriate amount of boobage

Sorry to have not posted anything substantive in a while, but depression and hermitisim happens, so just deal with it. I thought I had broken out of it a week or so ago, even amongst the "bad news" I can't/won't share with you here. And my dark mood has lessened and I can make my co-workers snort in laughter. so things are better.

But that is not why I'm posting today. Today, I am posting because THIS arrived in the mailbox!

Also super excited (as excited as someone like me can get) that the Season 2 premier is this Monday, and I have the day off of work so I can actually be super geeky and be on twitter and tumblr all day and be all "OMG super duper excited I can hardly keep myself from squeeing". Because I totally say things like that in the company of actual human beings.

This show struggled, poor ratings (it's on the CW for christ's sake), retooled halfway through it's first season, late pickup of the second half of the season, and late renewal. So apparently it has been "retooled/revamped" some more for it's sophomore debut. Let's face it, the second season of a struggling show is always the make it or break it season. Case in point, Human Target that aired on FOX a few years back. It's first season struggled with ratings but got renewed, got "retooled to gain more viewers" and totally lost it's original viewers and got canned. Another example is Body of Proof from ABC... i think. I never really watched it. But it got cancelled after it's first season then got a reboot and got uncancelled and aired it's second season and got cancelled again. Those are some examples of second season downfalls, which has nothing to do with Mark Valley, I swear. However, some shows got even better in their sophomore years. Nikita was awesome in it's second season. So was Haven. Haven is in it's fourth season now on SyFy and Nikita will air it's final short season 5 on CW this fall/winter. So we shall see how my little guilty pleasure holds up on Monday.

Also I wanted to share THIS with you. Please watch it. It is awesome!

I've decided that I have become quite the Feminist in my mid 30's (when it comes to women's rights especially in the right to make our own choices about our own bodies, rape culture, and female role models). I like superhero movies. I like Batman and Superman and Ionman and yada yada yada. Hollywood has not made a female superhero movie. Or TV show... that has worked. When they tried to make a Wonder Woman tv show the character of Diana came off as weak. You can't have a Super Powered Amazon Warrior Princess weak!! Ugh, makes me want to barf. This little short proves that it can be done, and done right. Without Diana coming off as weak or as a sexpot with her boobs popping out of her itty bitty spandez bra. Also the actress who plays Diana in this short is Rileah Vanderbilt, of Team Unicorn.

The excuses given as to why a Wonder Woman movie hasn't been made are stupid. I like the one where "they" say that women don't go to see action/hero movies. Excuse me? Hello! I have breasts, and I like going to see action/hero movies! Or there isn't a big enough fan base. Ironman didn't even have a fanbase till the first movie came out. Duh!

Two of my favorite cartoons were Power Puff Girls and Sailor Moon. I liked those cartoons for the same reason I liked the movie G.I. Jane. The protagonist was a female(s) who were brave and strong and fought the battle and slayed the evil whatever, and at the end of the day still remained female and had girl talk and ate ice cream.

That is all for now. Off to go do some "manly" yard work.

It's Geek Week!

It's Geek Week on Youtube. I don't necessarily frequent youtube all that much, but some noteworthy geeky things have happened already this week that are on youtube that I think are pretty cool. Even if they didn't actually plan it to be on Geek Week.

1. The 12th Doctor was named on Sunday. Link to his announcement on BBC clicky clicky

2. Today (Monday August 5th) marks the 1 year anniversary of the Curiosity Rover's landing on Mars. If you don't follow Curiosity on twitter, you are missing out. Here's a serious link about the anniversary here. click me Why does the landing always make me cry?

and here is a not so serious one. tee hee clicky clicky

3. A link to a video taken by a lady who just had a daughter and asked Will Wheaton to give her a message on why being a nerd is awesome. This didn't happen this week, but I thought it is worth the watch anyway and sends a great message to anyone who is passionate about pretty much anything. click me I dare you

4. There is a big discussion on tumblr and twitter and well everywhere online about who will be the new Batman in the next Superman movie. The rumored contenders are (in no particular order): Josh Brolin (perhaps too old? unless they are going for the older worn out Batman looking for someone to replace him thing), Ryan Gosling (a bit to... girly?), Joe Manganiello (pretty but perhaps a bit too muscley), Richard Armitage (my dreamboat, but I think would be much better cast as the villain), Max Martini (I don't even know who this is... off to google. Ok, I know who he is now), and Matthew Goode (I actually think he would be a good one. No one really knows who he is, but I like him. First saw him in a horrible Mandy Moore movie). click me, I'm not the Mandy Moore Movie

5. And finally, no actual link or anything. This is just something I've been thinking about and working on (in my head) is the lack of female comic/tv/movie/action heroes... that are actually believable and actually heroic and don't just prance around in skimpy outfits waiting to be rescued and having their bras magically unclasp. I can name only a few that I find awesome and worthy for girls to look up to and aspire too. I will give you my #1 right now, just in case I never get around to actually writing about this. Aryn Sun (played by the awesome Claudia Black) from the Farscape tv series.

So enjoy Geek Week and get your freaky geeky on!





Oh, and it's also Shark Week on Discovery Channel. Chomp chomp

Who I was at 15

My Sophomore yearbook picture, age 15.

20 years ago, I was 15. Scary to think about, I know. Once again, I have been silent on the blog. I’ve had plenty of ideas and stories to tell, but I have not wanted to write them out. I’ve been thinking a lot about my college days since the new job started. Mostly because almost every coworker is college age. That’s what happens when you work at a coffee shop. Working at a coffee shop paid for 5 of the 9 years I spent in college. Anyway, I’ve also been thinking about what I was like when I was in high school. Was I anything like my nephews (two of which are in high school, and one just graduated)? Being in high school 20 years ago was very different than the experience today. At the time, I thought it totally sucked balls and couldn’t wait to be done with it and go to college. I thought that at college I’d get away from the stupid people. Unfortunately there are stupid people at college too. I think they are everywhere! You still had to do "research" at the library, the internet was in it's infancy, and I didn't understand it yet. No cell phones, but pagers were cool. I never had one.

At 15, I was a sophomore. I’ve been trying to remember who I hung out with and what classes I had that year. I remember that orchestra started at 7am. I had sophomore english, biology, geometry, german 1, and some history class. Can’t remember which history it was at all. I only remember my freshman history class because it was the first time I learned about the Mayan culture and I was mesmerized, and government/ economics my senior year (which I cut almost once a week once soccer started).

I remember a friends mom would pick me up in the mornings because this friend and I both had orchestra. And because I had O period, I didn’t have 6th period so I got out early, until sports started. I don’t remember how I got home, until I got my license and started driving myself in January of that year. The school was 7 miles away, and the buses were cut years earlier due to budget issues.

I was in the best shape of my life that year. I was on a league soccer team outside of school. I went out for the swim team. So I would go to swimming for 2 hours, then go to my league soccer practice for another 2 hours or so. Sometimes I would play roller hockey with my brother and his friends at M&M prison (my old middle school) before soccer practice that was also there. That year I also played soccer and softball for the school. I was always playing something because one sport would start a few weeks before the previous one ended. So I was in great physical shape that year.

It was the year I also grew my bangs out. It was the only year I ever did not have bangs. To this day, 20 years later... the bangs are back to stay. I never really fit in at high school. I wasn’t popular, but no one really was there because there were over 4000 students. I didn’t have a click or group of friends that I stayed with all four years. In fact, every year was different with different friends at break and lunch. I tried out the Christian club people freshman year and didn’t like them (a bit to high and mighty), I went to chess club with a friend whom I’d known since I was 2 years old from church, but was bored because I don't like playing chess unless it's Battle Chess! I also tried hanging out with her skater friends. I went to science club, I liked blowing up balloons with the bunsen burners and roasting marshmallows. I didn’t fit in with the “sports/jocks” people. I didn’t fit in with the churchies, I didn’t fit in with the science nerds, or the skaters, or the arts kids, or any other group. A lot of the time at break (15 minutes) I would just walk around campus. I know I spent some time with my friend that I knew since age 2. She was a Junior and let me hang with her and her friends. So when I couldn’t find anyone I knew I would find her. My childhood best friend with whom I went to school with since kindergarten had found her place and people with whom she could hang out with at break and lunch (the hill). The friends who I ate lunch with my freshman year... were no longer friends with me. So I leaned on my church friend. We had never gone to the same schools until high school. We had orchestra together. And once I got my drivers license in January of that year, sometimes I would go pick her up and we’d go to Denny’s for breakfast instead of going to orchestra. She was also on the softball team with me that year. We would sit on the bench during games a practice our sunflower seed spitting.

I went through my closet looking for any writing I had done that year. I don’t have any. I have stuff from middle school and every year of high school, except sophomore year. I couldn’t remember why. Then I got my yearbook out because I was also looking for a photo of me from that year and couldn’t find one. I had Mr. Shin for English that year. I hated that class. I don’t remember any assignments or books I read that year. All I remember is that it was second period and there were a bunch of f$cking idiots in that class and Mr. Shin had a hard time controlling them. And one of those f$cking idiots set off a stink bomb once and he made everyone stay in the classroom through break because no one copped to doing it. That’s all I remember of that class. I hated it. I loved freshman english. I didn’t like my junior english teacher but he challenged me to think for myself and not rely on what I was told to think or believe. I loved senior english. I had the same teacher as my sister did 8 years earlier, and she fostered my love of writing.

So honestly, I don’t remember a lot of high school, and a lot less of my sophomore year. I didn’t fit in anywhere, but was never bullied. I don’t think I got shat on by a seagull that year. I turned 16 that year and got the 1988 Mazda 323 stick shift. It was my mom’s car, and then it was my brother’s car. That year he bought his first car on his own, a Jeep. So I got the Mazda when I turned 16. It smelled like my brother’s armpit sans deodorant. He had always left his stinky hockey gear in the car. And I remember when he drove me to school my freshman year (his senior year), I sat in the back with his surf board and his surfing buddy for the day in the front. He’d drop me off and ditch that day and head to Santa Cruz. He’d come back to pick me up... some days a bit later than others. I never really saw my brother much during school my freshman year, but I sure was glad he was there. But back to my sophomore year. It was the year I got my first job too, at the video store that my sister had worked at when she was in high school. Having older siblings was cool. They got you jobs and cars and free rides to school (even if mom had to pay him). Because of the job at the video store I started watching a lot of movies and playing video games. I got to take home the Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, or the Sega Genesis. I like playing Lolo, Sonic, Mario, a beach volleyball game, and a space racing game, and many others, but Lolo was awesome. He was a blue ball that was trying to save Lala, a pink ball from some evil dude who locked Lala in his castle. And Lolo had to solve these puzzle type games. My boss at the video store was so obsessed with beating the game that he racked up $100's of dollar phone bills calling the Nintendo help line. This was back before the internet people!!

What I learned that year was that I wasn’t as cool as I thought or popular. I wasn’t a great swimmer or soccer player or softball player, but I was good enough. Playing violin in the orchestra was still fun, and I looked forward to our concerts, again, I wasn’t great, but was good enough. I was still taking private piano lessons. I learned to drive. The day I got my license I stalled it on the hill at the corner of Landess and Piedmont, and hit the bumper of the car in front of me in the drive thru at McDonald’s... and stalled it. I was conscious of my self-consciousness and self image. I still went to church and youth group, but I didn’t fit in with them either. I knew my family weren’t rich or poor. I knew I had it pretty good. But I also never took it for granted. I got myself up every morning. I made my own lunch or saved a few dollars and braved the chaos that was the snack bars. I did my own laundry. I did my homework. Got good grades. And that’s about it. I sure as hell didn’t know what I wanted to do or study in college yet.

So that was me, sophomore year, 15 years old. Junior year was the  first stamp in my passport (German exchange program. I spent 6 weeks in Germany, it was awesome). It was also the year I started to think for myself. Senior year had it’s moments, but I couldn’t wait to graduate and get away from all those stupid people. I also never dated in high school. I had a few crushes but I thought they were above me or unattainable, so why even try. I didn’t go to prom either. But I had no desire to. So there you go.

Maybe the next post will be who I was at age 20. Oooooo, so exciting. Not really.

When I grow up...

I never knew what I wanted to be when I was younger. I can remember when I was about 5 or so, telling my parents I wanted to be a boy when I grew up. I thought the peach fuzz on my lip would grow into a mustache. Thankfully, it never did. When I was a child, besides turning into a boy, I wanted to be a Park Ranger. I thought they were cool. I still do think they are cool. Also wanted to be an Olympic Athlete, and an Astronaut, even after watching the Challenger explode on live tv in my 2nd grade classroom.

In 1993, after watching Jurassic Park I decided I wanted to be a Palaeontologist. Then I wanted to be a Geologist, Coroner, a fighter pilot, a Navy Seal, and an Author. After watching Dante's Peak in 1997, I wanted to be a Vulcanologist. Then a rescue squad member, Firefighter, Smoke Jumper (Hotshot), EMT, Script Writer, Set Builder, Coast Guard, Photographer, Columnist, Travel Writer, Pastry Chef, and a Forensic Anthropologist. There was also Professional Musician, Mountain Climber, Explorer, Naturalist, Adventure Travel Guide, Oceanographer, Glass Blower, and Welder.

In 2005, I got my first Archaeology job. But I didn't stop. To survive as a successful archaeologist, one needs other skill sets. So I thought Biologist, Botanist, Geologist (again), Forensic Anthropologist (again), Geographer, and Osteologist. I never did any of those, perhaps a reason I'm no longer employed as an archaeologist. Then I thought, time for a new career as a Landscape Architect, Construction Worker, Park Ranger (again), Freelance Writer, Adventure Tour Guide (again).

Right now I'm trying out Entrepreneur.

But seriously, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Anyone have any ideas?

Single and Proud

I know it’s been done before on countless blogs, but I haven’t done it on this one and have you read all those other countless blogs? I don’t think so. Since the overly hyped and stupid holiday called Valentine’s Day is approaching, I thought it would be a good time to write about how kick-ass it is to be single. I’ve been single for a long time. A very long time. And that is not likely to change any time soon. And I’m okay with that.

So, why being single is kick-ass (in no particular order):

1.) Don’t have to hold in farts, burps, or random tummy noises or explain/apologize for doing them (especially the really smelly ones).
2.) The bed is all mine ( I can sleep diagonally if I want to).
3.) Don’t have to groom/pluck/tweeze/wax/shave body hair.
4.) Can ogle/drool/fantasize over pretty people and not feel guilty or dirty.
5.) Don’t have to dress up or go to boring dinner parties where I know absolutely no one.
6.) Can drink a beer... in the shower (have you ever done that? It’s awesome).
7.) Don’t have to explain to anyone, where I have been and with whom I was doing it with.
8.) Can read a dirty cover romance novel and not hide it.
9.) Can watch TV in my room at 2am with the sound up.
10.) I can up and leave whenever I want, and for any length of time.
11.) Vacations are cheaper (only paying for one).
12.) Don’t have to buy shit for another person on Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries, Birthday’s, Christmas, etc.
13.) Don’t have to play nice with in-laws or friends.
14.) Don’t have to explain my love of action/fantasy B movies.
15.) I don’t have to share...anything.
16.) Can kiss whomever I want on New Years... or no one at all.
17.) Can have as many cats as I want.
18.) I can be as girly as I want or as masculine as I want, whenever I want.
19.) I don’t have to stop any of my ticks or habits that others find annoying.
20.) I can leave my dirty underwear on the floor (not that I usually do, but I can if I want).
21.) I can eat crackers in bed... and I have... with cheese of course.
22.) I can cry freely at a Hallmark commercial.
23.) I can be as lazy and disgusting as I want... until my OCD kicks in.
24.) Can watch a Dr Who or Too Cute marathon all weekend.


By being single I have learned to do many things on my own. I am fiercely independent, perhaps to a fault. I can and have enjoyed going to the movies by myself. Eating at a restaurant, party of one. Travel to distant lands by myself. I love walking into a hotel room and seeing a king sized bed all for me. There is a freedom to being single, and I’m not sure I ever want to give that up. Do I ever feel lonely? Sure. But you can be surrounded by people who love you and still feel lonely. Having a significant other doesn’t change those feelings all the time. I’m not like The Doctor. I don’t need a companion to keep me sane. I am my own companion. And thankfully, February 14th is just another normal Thursday for me.

The sort of The Hobbit fangirl

*one of my favorite pics from New Zealand, also is the background for this blog.
It’s a big day on the other side of the world down in New Zealand. It’s the World Premiere of The Hobbit in Wellington. Starts at 4:30pm kiwi time which means 6:30pm PST. It will be televised live too on Cinemax. I don’t subscribe to that channel. And it seems weird that that network will broadcast something where everyone will be keeping their clothes on. I mean, Cinemax isn’t nicknamed “skinemax” for nothing. But now that I think about it, they do show some shows from the UK and most likely have some sort of deal with Sky over across the pond. And New Zealand is still part of the British Empire and all that. Would be a lot easier on me if BBC America was doing it instead. Anyway, there are also several places on the web that will live stream it. So the question is will I watch it?

I don’t know. I’ve been sort of overloaded with Hobbit hype of late and I don’t really want to spoil the experience of seeing the film. On the other hand, the footage of the Premiere is only that. I won’t be there actually seeing the film so it won’t be spoiler-ish. Perhaps I will watch it later and not tonight. I do have things I need to do. I should be mowing my lawn right now.

Which brings me to something else I’ve been worrying about... sort of. With all this hype and excitement and little clips, interviews, previews, behind-the-scenes snippets: will it all make me so excited that when I finally do go and see the film in December, will it live up to my boosted expectations? So I’ve been perusing the pre-film juggernaut and not delving in and reading and watching everything there is out there. I don’t want to get my expectations so high that it will be a disappointment when I go to see it. I know it will be a good film and it will be entertaining, but I went to see Tron Legacy in the theaters in 3D expecting to get my mind blown with the special effects. I know the actual story was weak so I wasn’t expecting that. But I came out of it disappointed. My mind wasn’t blown. I don’t want that to happen with The Hobbit.

Also, I hate 3D. It gives me a headache. The eye strain is exhausting. When I walked out of Tron Legacy I practically had a migraine! So I never went to see Avatar or Hugo or any other film that showed in 3D. Movies are so expensive these days and 3D is even more money. But I’ll be going to see The hobbit in 3D and at the HFR (high frame rate). I decided that I need to see it as the Director (Peter Jackson) intended. So I will give it another shot. I’ll be taking drugs though (legal ones). I will most likely pop some Ibuprofen before hand and have some more in my pocket, just in case. I will most likely be taking my nephews as well. So it might be their Christmas present from me. We aren’t doing the midnight showing though. I didn’t buy those tickets, and plus we wouldn’t be getting back home till after 4am!! I’m not that hardcore. Sorry. Perhaps later in the week or the following week. The movie isn’t showing in 3D HFR in my city, so we will have to travel 40 miles to San Jose to see it. And of course I’ll have to splurge for the snacks and such, because this is part of “the experience”. Part of the experience will be traveling to the theater, waiting in lines, getting all the junk food, and picking out the best seats, and then of course the movie itself.

I fell in love with The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy. I was a bit late. I reread The Hobbit prior to going to see The Fellowship of The Ring. I was greatly confused the first 10 minutes figuring out who this Frodo character was. Face palm, I know! I then went home and prior to The Two Towers, I reread the Trilogy. I came away from that trilogy experience wishing I was somehow part of it. I wanted to be part of the experience that all the actors and production had. Everyone who worked on those films kept saying how amazing it all was and how it changed their lives. I wanted that. And of course that was the first time I had seen the beauty of New Zealand. I knew that place existed, but just figured it was like Australia to its north.

*at left is one of the places I got to visit where LOTR was shot.
So years after the films came out and several DVD editions came and gone, I finally made it to New Zealand myself. You can read about that here. Many other films had been shot in New Zealand since then. So while I was there, I traveled with a trekking group for 10 days. Midway through we had a day off in Queenstown, on the South Island. So what did I do besides jump off a cliff and live to tell about it? I went on a Lord of the Rings Tour. I felt like such a dork, but there you go. You can read about that here.

I tell you all this because I watched an interview this morning about The Hobbit and one of the actors said something to the effect of, “Even if there wasn’t a film at the end of this year, it has changed my life. Just coming here to New Zealand and the experience has changed my life forever.” Not exactly what he said, but close enough. They all spent the better part of a year down there. I only spent just under a month. Reflecting on it now, three years out, had my own experience down there change my life? Today I thought, “I missed it again.” After my own trip to New Zealand, I wanted to move there. I went as far as looking for jobs there and looking into what I’d have to do to immigrate. Had I actually done it, would I have had the opportunity to be part of the making of The Hobbit? Who knows.

Did my own short journey change my life? I think so. I wrote about this here and here soon after I got back. Now three years later, I still do think about it sometimes. I look through my photos, I reread my blog posts sometimes. It was a huge deal for me to go there... alone. I didn’t know a soul. I had never traveled internationally alone before or that far. For some people traveling overseas alone is no big deal. But for me it was huge. I had put off the trip for years because of that. I felt that, and still do, even this extremely introverted person can take on the world. Okay, maybe not the world, but you get what I mean. I can overcome whatever obstacle comes along.

So in a way, the Lord of the Rings movies and now The Hobbit films, have changed this closet fangirls life.

*and no, I will not be dressing up. I am not a cosplayer.

**we'll see if I get any new views besides my normal readers when I tweet this with a Hobbit hashtag.

Bad Fangirl

Am I a bad fangirl if I haven't purchased this yet? I really do want it. But I don't even have a Blu Ray player. Oh my, does that make me an even worse fangirl? Oh dear. I'll go hang my head in shame over here in the corner... without my elf ears.

*I don't own elf ears or hobbit feet. Going back to my corner of shame.

The new short stack

I took a trip to my local B&N today. I picked up Lee Child’s Killing Floor, George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones, and Elizabeth Gaskell’s North and South. A thriller, a fantasy, and a classic. Talk about a mixed bag. Got Child’s Killing Floor because it is the first of one of his best known series, and everyone I have talked to who has read them say it’s great fun. I like fast paced good action thrillers. I was going to get David Morrell’s First Blood, you know the Rambo movies right? Well, it was a book first. But they didn’t have it. *sad face* So I got Martin’s Game of Thrones, instead. I’m very picky about fantasy books. I have a hard time finding ones that I actually like. But I thought I should give this one a try, it is an HBO series now and it’s all the rage. I think I can handle some magic, mayhem, incest, and epic betrayals. And now the classic. I recently watched the BBC production of this novel and absolutely fell in love. No really. The whole puppy dog googlie eyed, I have to watch this over and over again in love. Ok, maybe just the ending, but still. Now that I know what Thornton looks and sounds like, I can get all googlie eyed in the text. Charles Dickens gave her good reviews, so it must be a good book as well.

The whole point of this is I haven’t been able to read much lately. I’ve started reading several books and just haven’t been in the mood, or they just haven’t captured me. Hopefully these will get me going again. I also need to re-read The Hobbit before December, to refresh my memory before I go see the movie extravaganza. It will be epic, EPIC I say!

Again, with feeling this time!

It has been over a year ago now (year and a half, actually) that I read a weight loss book and followed the program in the book. Within the first two phases of the plan which were 8 weeks long each, I lost 20 pounds. The third and final phase was maintenence. For the past year I have kept the weight off. Only gained 2 pounds back. Not bad. But I never reached my goal. My goal was 30 pounds. I never lost that last 10, now 12.

I decided that it is time. I am not on the strict diet anymore, however I do eat a lot healthier now and better balance my carb intake which was my demise. For the past 4 weeks I have been running at least four days a week about 2 miles and been using my dumb bells.

I always need motivation and rewards, otherwise I stop. I still keep with my original motivation of every 5 pounds lost I get to buy a DVD. I already know which one I will be buying, it is in my amazon cart just waiting for the day I get to say “yes, ship it”. But that hasn’t been enough, obviously. Sure I kept 20 pounds off for over a year, but I didn’t finish.

So the first two weeks of this new start, my motivation was two fold. Firstly, I love soda. RC, Pepsi, Coke, in that order. So if I run and work out, I get a soda that day. If not, then I don’t. That’s good motivation for a caffeine addict. The second which was the linchpin was I allowed myself to watch an episode of Spooks (MI-5 here in the US) from netflix if I ran. I couldn’t stand not being able to watch it. So again, it was good motivation. I have since finished watching the episodes I wanted to see (seasons 7 and 8). I no longer need that extra push. The soda a day is motivation enough now.

I was very frustrated at the end of week two, thinking I was doing really well and probably lost a few pounds by now.... Well, I got on the scale and wham! I gained a pound. I was so mad. But you have to remember, it takes about 3 to 4 weeks to notice any physical changes. Mentally and physically I felt better, but there isn’t really any noticeable change in only 2 weeks. First you gain muscle before you lose fat. And I had to remind myself of that. So I decided not to weigh-in at the end of week 3.

Now that I am into week 4, I am starting to notice little changes. I can now start to see my muscles in my legs, I have pectoral muscles again (I missed them), and my arms are firming up. I still have that roll of a tummy, but that my friends is the curse of family genes. I have it, my brother has it, and my mother has it. I would like to get rid of it as well. I want one set of hips, not two.

I don’t necessarily like running, I’m not going to start running marathons or anything like that. And eventually my knees will stop me (hopefully not for another 30 years or so). But it seems to be the most effective way for me to lose weight and get in shape. And I do feel better after a workout.

*I wrote this last week and never posted it. I did upload it to an online forum I’m part of for some of the peeps who are doing this weightloss challenge with each other. I wanted to share a little with them. But I didn’t post it on my actual blog. Why? I suppose I have this fear that I would stop. I do tend to start things and never really finish them. Learning a language, new musical instrument, etc. And I didn’t want to jinx myself. I’ve posted things before where I say stuff like, “next time” or “I’ll update you when I’m done” and then.... nothing. It is a week later now, and I’m still running, so, for now, I feel safe enough to post this one.

Decisions and holiday festivities

Killing multiple birds with one stone here. First off, it is major decision time for me. Can’t put it off much longer. I no longer have unemployment benefits. Apparently I worked too much in October. It was going to expire in January anyway. So I went and applied for school. Well, I didn’t actually go anywhere. I did it online while sitting on this very bed. I register for classes the week of December 14th. I will be taking Horticulture Landscaping classes. If anyone needs any work done, I’m available. (nudge nudge) Don’t have a part-time job yet to sustain this yet, but there is still time. This of course means that once school starts in February I will not be able to take archaeology jobs. Mostly because field jobs take me away from home for weeks at a time, and the whole point of going to school is actually physically going to school.

Which brings us to point number two. Archaeology. I will miss it. I love it, but it also almost destroyed me. I will miss my fellow archaeologists. They are very intelligent, gifted, loyal, down right raunchy people. It takes a special quality person to do the job, and I will miss them. I will miss the places I got to see and the places I will never get to. I was able to see and go places that most people never get to. Drive on roads that are locked, climb mountains where there are no trails, find artifacts that no one has touched in hundreds of years. I got to go to such a variety of places. I will miss exploring. I will however not miss the stress of report deadlines and client demands and expectations, the fear of angry and sometimes armed landowners who hate you just because you are an archaeologist. I will not miss the bureaucracy and blame being thrown at whomever is closest.* I was relieved when I got laid-off. A large burden that I never wanted in the first place was lifted. There were some responsibilities I hated, like having to deal with angry property owners, and clients who didn’t even understand what our job is and what it entails. Lets just face it, I hate confrontation. It makes me very uneasy whether it be clients or co-workers who don’t get along. Since being laid-off, all of those responsibilities no longer applied. I was essentially demoted. I am no longer a project manager/supervisor. I work now as just a field technician. I miss putting together site records, the artistry of drawing maps and features, manipulating photographs in the office. I have enjoyed the field work I have been able to do since that time. I enjoyed just being a member of the crew. I will miss it. I hope that perhaps during school breaks and over the summer I will have the opportunity to come back and do some field work. I’m not sure I can completely let it go. There is a part of me that will always crave it. The need to explore and find and see things for the very first time. Archaeology gave me access to feed that craving and paid me, to boot.

And thirdly, I’ll keep this one short. It is holiday season. I don’t tend to get excited about it. I don’t hang Christmas decorations, I only buy gifts for immediate family and don’t spend much on them (especially this year). It’s just not a big deal to me. I enjoy spending time with my family, don’t get me wrong. But I am like my father and his father before him. We like to be there. We want to be around everybody, but we don’t want to necessarily do anything. We just want to sit there and just be. When I think of this holiday time, it is for sappy hallmark movies and card commercials that make you cry. It is for movie marathons that last for days. It is time to watch Star Wars (episodes IV-VI only, I-III sucked ass) and Lord of the Rings (extended version), and old but good tv shows like Farscape and Firefly. And then watch them again with commentary. (Yes I do that, I admit it) It is for 1000+ piece puzzles. When I think of this time of year, that is what makes me happy. Oh and the BBC America channel always runs a Dr. Who marathon on New Years!!!! I have watched it 2 years in a row now. It is a great way to spend my birthday. Yes New Years Day is my birthday, you may be hung-over, but I will be in my comfy PJ’s gorging myself with food I shouldn't eat and watching Dr. Who for 12 hours straight. Bow Ties are cool!




*This is not necessarily individuals. Archaeological companies are usually the lowest on the totem pole of large projects that involve many agencies and companies, and often get the blame for running projects over budget.

She's guilty!

I have been unemployed for almost two months now. I have been looking for work, granted not every hour of the day. I have been enjoying the time off. If it wasn’t raining so much the backyard would look amazing! However, I have only been able to start many backyard projects and then a week of rain happens.

For some reason though, I feel guilty. I feel guilty about staying up late and sleeping in. I have always been a night owl. I hate mornings! There is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to enjoy this freedom while I have it. Who knows when I will get the chance again? When I retire? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Also feel a bit guilty because I am not working. I am getting unemployment checks and staying up late and sleeping in and pulling weeds in my backyard. How is this productive? And gee wiz, why do I feel like I need to be productive? I feel like I have to do something... anything. Why? Is it so ingrained into me to be a productive member of society?

I just want to sleep in and watch movies and TV all day. Is that so bad? And when that new job comes along, I go back to being a productive member of society. Right now though... I’m going to hulu to watch some old TV shows.