Anxiety bound

Instead of listening to the pile of CD’s my co-worker gave me today, I’m listening to this: Iron and Wine’s Sunset Soon Forgotten on his Our Endless Numbered Days Album. Why? Because I may, or may not, have a job by the end of tomorrow. And so my anxiety level is a bit raised. The “boss man” is coming to the office to “discuss the future” of the company. We’ve been in slow, tight spots before… but never this bad. Last week I had to let go two of my favorite minions, and my only minions. And now, as of tomorrow, I have no work. Now don’t panic! It’s just the end of the world. Worst case scenario is that I get laid off. When I really think about it though, I don’t really think that will happen. We’ve been speculating all day about possible scenarios. Our contract manager thinks she will get laid off. The rest of us (all 3 of us) are thinking that we will be “asked” to take our PTO for a week or two or longer, or go to a 32 hour work week until the work picks up, or take leave without pay. We just don’t know from the cryptic email from the “boss man”. His emails are always cryptic and we have spent years trying to decipher the “code” with no avail.

So, I think I will polish up the resume, just in case. Can’t hurt. This has also started my brain churning the idea’s that I’ve been avoiding asking. Which are: what do I want to do? What kind of job do I want after this one? Because I won’t be here forever. Do I want to stay in archaeology? What came to mind on the drive home today was trail maintenance. Apparently I want to do some hard labor. And a kayaking guide, which isn’t really realistic since I don’t even know how to kayak. And I’ve only been in one twice in my life. Then I thought well, maybe it’s a good time to go back to school. Then I also run the risk of having too much education, and being over-qualified. Why can’t it just be easy!! Whaaaaaaaaaaa! If I do chose to go back to school however, what would I take? What interests me doesn’t necessarily equate to jobs that pay money. Geology, geography, botany, forensic anthropology, and set building (i.e. movie and tv show sets). Yeah, who knew. I could try and get a pilots license or motorcycle license, but I don’t have a plane or a motorcycle. Too bad I can’t get paid to pull the weeds in my backyard or sit on my ass and read books (that I want to read). It would be cool if I could get a job where all I do is do archaeological surveys of county, regional, state, and national parks! Come on USDA, I just know you are itching to give me a job like that. Then I thought I could live out one of the other jobs I’ve always wanted to do. Fire fighting, but for the Forest Service. Hot Shots or CDF, CalFire. But that is mostly seasonal.

So, the world is always in flux and will be a mystery… until tomorrow.