When a particular song pops into my head, I usually have to do something about it. Sometimes it is a song that is annoying and I have to get it unstuck by listening to something else or watch some tv or read a book. It then goes away because my mind is now thinking about something else. Other times I take it as a sign that I need to listen to it for a reason. I can usually tell which it will be. In this case, a song came into my head and I knew, “I need to listen to this... right now!”. I have it on a loop on my ipod as I write this. I was getting ready for bed and stopped to listen... and write.
The song? Just Breathe by Pearl Jam
Here are the lyrics:
Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,..
Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands
the ones I love,..
Some folks just have one,
yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh
Stay with me,..
Let's just breathe.
Practiced are my sins,
never gonna let me win, aw-huh,..
Under everything, just another human being, aw-huh,..
Yeah, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world
to make me bleed.
Stay with me,..
You're all I see.
Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean.
I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face, aw-huh,..
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, aw huh,..
Nothing you would take
Everything you gave...
Did I say that I need you?
Oh, did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean, ah-ah...
Nothing you would take,..
Everything you gave.
Love you till I die,..
Meet you on the other side.
So what does it mean? Not sure. I first heard this song on the trailer for the documentary movie called Buck, and I sought it out. Found it and downloaded it. Vedder (as in Eddie Vedder, lead singer for the band, if you didn’t know that already) wrote it back in 2009 so it isn’t very old. Usually when I find a song and I say, “wow, what a cool new song” it is usually pretty old... by modern rock standards. I guess I lucked out this time.
Is it a great piece of poetry? Maybe not. Is it a masterpiece of music? Probably not. But I like it. And really that’s all I need. It fits. It is mild... for Pearl Jam, if you know their music.
So why did it pop into my head now? Maybe only to get me to write. Maybe to speak to me about love, mortality, or something else. Whatever it is, I’ll figure it out sooner or later... or not.
I know two things. One: I really like this song. Two: I want to go see the documentary Buck where I heard this song on the trailer. Go watch it on youtube or hulu. You will most likely want to go see it as well.
Another thing: the reason for the song popping into my head... I can’t figure it out and it is in there, somewhere, the reason, and it is aggravating me that I don’t know what it is. I guess I will keep listening to it for a while.
I’ve been thinking about getting back into music again. I miss playing. Why I stopped is a mystery to me. I miss playing my guitars, (even the bass) and the piano. I think I want to learn to play the mandolin. I guess I need to go buy one. Those of you who have known me for a very long time know that I have a severe case of performance anxiety. To a point where I can make myself sick and unable to function. However, that is only the case when I am the solo performer. Which is why I never “solo-ed” while in the Lumberjacks. As part of a group ensemble, I am fine. I am in the moment and enjoy the camaraderie of the group performing as one. When I play by myself... completely different story. When I play alone.... I want to be alone. It is for me, and me only. If I want to share it with others, I will. But when I used to play my guitar or piano, it was for my own enjoyment, pleasure, release.
I miss that. And I think I need that back in my life, especially now when my live is in flux/ transition.
And there you go. This is why this song came to me when it did. Well, I feel better now, and now I am going to enjoy this song a few more times before bed.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Set back or celebration?
I have been hesitant to write this one (and post). But you can’t just celebrate the good stuff and goals achieved. You also have to admit the failures and plateaues. I got on the scale for my monthly weigh in on the “step two” and didn’t loose any weight. I didn’t gain any either. I was bummed. This isn’t the “maintaining” stage. That is step three. What this means to me is that I cannot rely on diet alone. Just monitoring my food intake and eating properly will not help me loose weight. It is depressing to think about it. To know that for the rest of my life I have to exercise A LOT to loose weight and to maintain that goal weight... when I reach it.
I am still determined to reach my goal. I lost 18 pounds in the first 8 weeks. My goal is 14 more pounds. It is not going to be easy. And I think it requires a new reward system for the final goal. My original goal was that every 5 pounds lost, I would allow myself to buy a DVD. Which has worked. I have only bought 2 DVD’s even though I have lost 18 pounds. I was waiting to get those last 2 pounds and hit 20 to buy the next 2 DVD’s. But for that ultimate final goal, it needs to be big. Really big.
What should it be? I want it to be a vacation, even someplace on my list of “things to do before I die”. It may need to be a new stamp in my passport. The first three places that pop into my head are: Australia, Machu Pichu, and Chaco Canyon - Mesa Verde. Hesitant about Machu Pichu because I don’t want to do that one by myself and the fact that I have never regained 100% of my lung strength from when I got Valley Fever. I have difficulty breathing at 7,000 feet, let alone 15,000! And I won’t take the train to it. That’s cheating. If it is chosen, I will hike it. I would also love to go back to Hawaii and not hide behind a surf shirt and extra large board shorts and take surfing lessons!
Any other suggestions? I’m open for some ideas.
Ultimately I chose to sort of celebrate by having an In-N-Out burger and fries.
I am still determined to reach my goal. I lost 18 pounds in the first 8 weeks. My goal is 14 more pounds. It is not going to be easy. And I think it requires a new reward system for the final goal. My original goal was that every 5 pounds lost, I would allow myself to buy a DVD. Which has worked. I have only bought 2 DVD’s even though I have lost 18 pounds. I was waiting to get those last 2 pounds and hit 20 to buy the next 2 DVD’s. But for that ultimate final goal, it needs to be big. Really big.
What should it be? I want it to be a vacation, even someplace on my list of “things to do before I die”. It may need to be a new stamp in my passport. The first three places that pop into my head are: Australia, Machu Pichu, and Chaco Canyon - Mesa Verde. Hesitant about Machu Pichu because I don’t want to do that one by myself and the fact that I have never regained 100% of my lung strength from when I got Valley Fever. I have difficulty breathing at 7,000 feet, let alone 15,000! And I won’t take the train to it. That’s cheating. If it is chosen, I will hike it. I would also love to go back to Hawaii and not hide behind a surf shirt and extra large board shorts and take surfing lessons!
Any other suggestions? I’m open for some ideas.
Ultimately I chose to sort of celebrate by having an In-N-Out burger and fries.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Feel the Fear
Feel the fear, and do it anyway. This is a quote from the TV series Roadtrip Nation on PBS. I love watching this show. It is a small group of young people usually around 20 or 21 and about to graduate college. They travel around the country in a green RV interviewing interesting people about how they came to be who they are. It is suppose to help these young people figure out what path they should take next in their lives. Mostly the people they interview say to find what makes you happy, find what gives you passion, find something that makes you wake up in the morning happy to go to work. The show is geared to people in their early 20’s. However, after watching episodes I feel inspired to figure myself out and find what makes me happy. I’m not in my early 20’s, but I feel that I am standing at the next crossroads in my life. Do I go left? Do I go right? Do I turn around? And I think, it is never to late to try something new. Only thing is, I don’t know what that new thing is.
I know now that I lost my enthusiasm, passion, and whatnot for my current profession. I think, I’ll give it till the end of the season. (Field season - which usually runs till the weather turns rainy and snowy) My former employer which is my somewhat current employer at the moment will never take me back in the capacity that was. I will only be working for them as a field person. Right now I work for them on a very part time basis on a temporary job as a construction monitor. The work itself is very boring. But the crew is very nice and fun and I can’t argue with the view. I have a view of the pacific ocean and the Monterey Bay.
The plan is, for now anyway, is that I will work for whom ever in the field doing surveys and excavations till the weather puts a stop to it. So I should be somewhat employed till say... November-ish. But I don’t have a plan for after that. What do I do then? I have to make money somehow.
But that is just it. I feel like I have to make money. I have to because I need to support myself. No one else can, nor should they. I know that I cannot work in a cube. I think it would slowly suck the soul right out of me. I also know that I can’t just sit on my ass and wait for “it” to drop into my lap.
So, do I go back to school... again? Take some classes that interest me? Apply to Home Depot? I don’t know. My father asked once a while back as a conversation starter at a small gathering of friends what our favorite job was. And I think my answer surprised everyone... who actually know me. It wasn’t archaeology. It was the stock room at Borders Book Store. I started out at Borders as a barista in their cafe. Then I became manager of the cafe, a supervisor. I worked at the info desks, cash registers, helped customers find books, opened the store, closed the store, etc. But when I got accepted to field school, and then grad school, I couldn’t be a supervisor anymore because I couldn’t work certain days and enough hours. So I transferred to stock. I unloaded pallets of books and stocked the shelves in the wee hours of the morning. I loved it. I got to organize stuff. I didn’t have to deal with people who would say, “I’m looking for that book, you know the one with the green cover? It was on that show.” Or “this doesn’t taste like Starbucks, why doesn’t it taste like Starbucks? Make it taste like Starbucks!” Seriously, if you love crappy Starbucks that much... then go to Starbucks!! Does it say Starbucks anywhere in here? I always wanted to say that to people. I did tell someone once who was really rude about the drink I made him. I told him that Starbucks was just at the end of the shopping center and that he should go there, I’m not Starbucks. Anyway, I got off subject. I liked making coffee and espressos, and I liked stocking shelves. There was some stress to the job, in that we had to get the pallets of books out on the shelves as fast as possible because the next pallet was always coming, but it was a manageable stress. The actually organizing and stocking was calming to me. I know, I’m strange.
I think this is why I’ve given thought to opening a new and used book store. But I want someone else to do that part. I want to stock it’s shelves and run the little cafe inside, not worry about the money or the crazy people that will inevitably come in, or the furious community group that doesn’t like the color of our store front.
I remember being told, do what you’re good at. But just because I am good at certain things, doesn’t mean I enjoy them.
So I will stand here at my crossroad for a while longer and continue to scratch my head and study my map. I feel the fear, only the fear is that I don't know or may never know what job will make me happy or at least happy to go to work most days.
I know now that I lost my enthusiasm, passion, and whatnot for my current profession. I think, I’ll give it till the end of the season. (Field season - which usually runs till the weather turns rainy and snowy) My former employer which is my somewhat current employer at the moment will never take me back in the capacity that was. I will only be working for them as a field person. Right now I work for them on a very part time basis on a temporary job as a construction monitor. The work itself is very boring. But the crew is very nice and fun and I can’t argue with the view. I have a view of the pacific ocean and the Monterey Bay.
The plan is, for now anyway, is that I will work for whom ever in the field doing surveys and excavations till the weather puts a stop to it. So I should be somewhat employed till say... November-ish. But I don’t have a plan for after that. What do I do then? I have to make money somehow.
But that is just it. I feel like I have to make money. I have to because I need to support myself. No one else can, nor should they. I know that I cannot work in a cube. I think it would slowly suck the soul right out of me. I also know that I can’t just sit on my ass and wait for “it” to drop into my lap.
So, do I go back to school... again? Take some classes that interest me? Apply to Home Depot? I don’t know. My father asked once a while back as a conversation starter at a small gathering of friends what our favorite job was. And I think my answer surprised everyone... who actually know me. It wasn’t archaeology. It was the stock room at Borders Book Store. I started out at Borders as a barista in their cafe. Then I became manager of the cafe, a supervisor. I worked at the info desks, cash registers, helped customers find books, opened the store, closed the store, etc. But when I got accepted to field school, and then grad school, I couldn’t be a supervisor anymore because I couldn’t work certain days and enough hours. So I transferred to stock. I unloaded pallets of books and stocked the shelves in the wee hours of the morning. I loved it. I got to organize stuff. I didn’t have to deal with people who would say, “I’m looking for that book, you know the one with the green cover? It was on that show.” Or “this doesn’t taste like Starbucks, why doesn’t it taste like Starbucks? Make it taste like Starbucks!” Seriously, if you love crappy Starbucks that much... then go to Starbucks!! Does it say Starbucks anywhere in here? I always wanted to say that to people. I did tell someone once who was really rude about the drink I made him. I told him that Starbucks was just at the end of the shopping center and that he should go there, I’m not Starbucks. Anyway, I got off subject. I liked making coffee and espressos, and I liked stocking shelves. There was some stress to the job, in that we had to get the pallets of books out on the shelves as fast as possible because the next pallet was always coming, but it was a manageable stress. The actually organizing and stocking was calming to me. I know, I’m strange.
I think this is why I’ve given thought to opening a new and used book store. But I want someone else to do that part. I want to stock it’s shelves and run the little cafe inside, not worry about the money or the crazy people that will inevitably come in, or the furious community group that doesn’t like the color of our store front.
I remember being told, do what you’re good at. But just because I am good at certain things, doesn’t mean I enjoy them.
So I will stand here at my crossroad for a while longer and continue to scratch my head and study my map. I feel the fear, only the fear is that I don't know or may never know what job will make me happy or at least happy to go to work most days.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The first eight
It is finally time. I was a bit scared to step on the scale this morning. What if I didn’t loose very much? I know I lost at least 5, and a friend said I look like I lost 10. Well today was the day. The first eight weeks are up. It was time to measure up and move on. I will go ahead and say it, when I started this I didn’t want to say how much I did weigh. So, two months ago to the day, I was 162. Today, eight weeks later, I am 144. I have lost 2 inches off my chest and 2 ¼ inches off my waist. I was actually shocked when I actually did step on that scale. I’ve never lost 18 pounds before. Well, I’ve never had to before either.
Today I start step two of the diet. It is all about reintroducing carbohydrates back into my system slowly and doing it with the right carbs. So still no potatoes, chips, and sugar related carbs. However, I can now eat fruit!!!!! Which is good because strawberries are in season and living in a place that grows strawberries and cherries and sells them at every fruit stand and not be able to eat them would be torture. I can now introduce whole grain breads, pastas, and rices back in. and sweet potatoes!!! Of course everything in moderation. In step one I was allowed only 5 grams of carbs every five hours, besides the carbs I don’t have to count that was in cheeses, meats, and allowed veggies. Now that is up to 11-20 grams and I have to eat them at every meal. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and before bed snack. So I guess I get to go shopping for whole grain breads and cereals. I have to make sure that what I eat in carbs also has at least 2 grams of fiber. Gotta keep me regular.
I’m excited. It means I will most likely be on this step for another 8 weeks (ugh), but I will get to eat a more varried diet. It was getting hard on step one to keep things going when I was limited. But I did learn that I like brussel sprouts, and ricotta cheese pudding, and that I cannot cook pork chops, but cauliflower is tasty.
The first week of step one was really hard. The book said I would loose the cravings I had for potato chips, french fries, and all around battered and deep fried goodness. I still crave those things, but I can handle it now. I haven’t gone on a binge feeding of an entire can of Pringles and box of Red Vines yet. I also didn’t notice any physical change in my body until well into the 3rd week or so. The first 4 weeks I did pretty good. I had an off plan meal maybe twice, but I was exercising 4 to 5 days a week with 30 minutes of cardio (on the treadmill) and 30 minutes with weights. Weeks 5 and 6 were spent installing the new hardwood floors in my house. I count that as extreme work-out. (I think I still have bruises from that) My lunch and dinners weren’t always great during that time, but I tried to keep the fast food consumption down to a minimum. Very hard when every night the family was bringing over fast, easy, comfort food. After the floors, I took week 7 off, from exercise only... sort of. I went for walks or rode my bike or pulled weeds in the yard. And the last week, I spent gardening (major weed pulling and landscaping). The treadmill is still burried in the garage behind living room furniture that hasn’t made it back into the house yet.
I am amazed and thrilled with myself for actually completing the first 8 weeks of this new lifestyle. I didn’t think I would finish it, to be honest. But I was and still am dammed determained to do this. Nothing else was working. And this is!! 18 pounds lighter is proof!! I do feel better. I have more energy, not depressed, no anxiety (we will see if that changes when I go back to work), and I fit into most of my clothes again. My wardrobe was limited to 2 pairs of “fat” pants, and a handful of shirts. I refused to buy another pair of bigger “fat” pants. Those “fat” pants are now work pants covered in paint splotches and grass stains. I am back down to where almost everything (almost) fits again.
I still have some weight to loose. And now on Step Two, I will continue to loose weight, work-out and eat right. I will weigh-in again in a month (4 weeks), and I will let you all know the continued progress. Today, I celebrate with a meal at In-N-Out Burger. Hey, I’m allowed!!!
Today I start step two of the diet. It is all about reintroducing carbohydrates back into my system slowly and doing it with the right carbs. So still no potatoes, chips, and sugar related carbs. However, I can now eat fruit!!!!! Which is good because strawberries are in season and living in a place that grows strawberries and cherries and sells them at every fruit stand and not be able to eat them would be torture. I can now introduce whole grain breads, pastas, and rices back in. and sweet potatoes!!! Of course everything in moderation. In step one I was allowed only 5 grams of carbs every five hours, besides the carbs I don’t have to count that was in cheeses, meats, and allowed veggies. Now that is up to 11-20 grams and I have to eat them at every meal. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and before bed snack. So I guess I get to go shopping for whole grain breads and cereals. I have to make sure that what I eat in carbs also has at least 2 grams of fiber. Gotta keep me regular.
I’m excited. It means I will most likely be on this step for another 8 weeks (ugh), but I will get to eat a more varried diet. It was getting hard on step one to keep things going when I was limited. But I did learn that I like brussel sprouts, and ricotta cheese pudding, and that I cannot cook pork chops, but cauliflower is tasty.
The first week of step one was really hard. The book said I would loose the cravings I had for potato chips, french fries, and all around battered and deep fried goodness. I still crave those things, but I can handle it now. I haven’t gone on a binge feeding of an entire can of Pringles and box of Red Vines yet. I also didn’t notice any physical change in my body until well into the 3rd week or so. The first 4 weeks I did pretty good. I had an off plan meal maybe twice, but I was exercising 4 to 5 days a week with 30 minutes of cardio (on the treadmill) and 30 minutes with weights. Weeks 5 and 6 were spent installing the new hardwood floors in my house. I count that as extreme work-out. (I think I still have bruises from that) My lunch and dinners weren’t always great during that time, but I tried to keep the fast food consumption down to a minimum. Very hard when every night the family was bringing over fast, easy, comfort food. After the floors, I took week 7 off, from exercise only... sort of. I went for walks or rode my bike or pulled weeds in the yard. And the last week, I spent gardening (major weed pulling and landscaping). The treadmill is still burried in the garage behind living room furniture that hasn’t made it back into the house yet.
I am amazed and thrilled with myself for actually completing the first 8 weeks of this new lifestyle. I didn’t think I would finish it, to be honest. But I was and still am dammed determained to do this. Nothing else was working. And this is!! 18 pounds lighter is proof!! I do feel better. I have more energy, not depressed, no anxiety (we will see if that changes when I go back to work), and I fit into most of my clothes again. My wardrobe was limited to 2 pairs of “fat” pants, and a handful of shirts. I refused to buy another pair of bigger “fat” pants. Those “fat” pants are now work pants covered in paint splotches and grass stains. I am back down to where almost everything (almost) fits again.
I still have some weight to loose. And now on Step Two, I will continue to loose weight, work-out and eat right. I will weigh-in again in a month (4 weeks), and I will let you all know the continued progress. Today, I celebrate with a meal at In-N-Out Burger. Hey, I’m allowed!!!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
She's guilty!
I have been unemployed for almost two months now. I have been looking for work, granted not every hour of the day. I have been enjoying the time off. If it wasn’t raining so much the backyard would look amazing! However, I have only been able to start many backyard projects and then a week of rain happens.
For some reason though, I feel guilty. I feel guilty about staying up late and sleeping in. I have always been a night owl. I hate mornings! There is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to enjoy this freedom while I have it. Who knows when I will get the chance again? When I retire? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Also feel a bit guilty because I am not working. I am getting unemployment checks and staying up late and sleeping in and pulling weeds in my backyard. How is this productive? And gee wiz, why do I feel like I need to be productive? I feel like I have to do something... anything. Why? Is it so ingrained into me to be a productive member of society?
I just want to sleep in and watch movies and TV all day. Is that so bad? And when that new job comes along, I go back to being a productive member of society. Right now though... I’m going to hulu to watch some old TV shows.
For some reason though, I feel guilty. I feel guilty about staying up late and sleeping in. I have always been a night owl. I hate mornings! There is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to enjoy this freedom while I have it. Who knows when I will get the chance again? When I retire? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Also feel a bit guilty because I am not working. I am getting unemployment checks and staying up late and sleeping in and pulling weeds in my backyard. How is this productive? And gee wiz, why do I feel like I need to be productive? I feel like I have to do something... anything. Why? Is it so ingrained into me to be a productive member of society?
I just want to sleep in and watch movies and TV all day. Is that so bad? And when that new job comes along, I go back to being a productive member of society. Right now though... I’m going to hulu to watch some old TV shows.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
The loss of Jack the Cat
The loss of a great one
Today is a sad day indeed. Last night our most awesomest cat ever was hit by a car. Somehow he made it home and curled up as best he could in his basket and tried to sleep. My sister and I found him this morning. He didn’t look right, and he could hardly purr. Those of you who have met Jack know that the instant he sees you, he starts to purr. I pet him and lifted his tail and it went limp. I went in to tell sis that something was wrong. Something has happened to Jack. She came back out to the garage and I lifted him out of his basket and sat him on the floor. He wouldn’t or couldn't move his back legs, they just sort of slumped to the side of his lower body. I said, “we need to take him to the vet.” I got his carrier ready while sis called the vet and then the emergency vet hospital. Jack never complained when I placed him in the carrier, and never made a sound on the long journey to the emergency hospital.
He was seen immediately. Got some much needed pain killers and had x-rays done. Sure enough, he had been hit by a car. Most likely got his tail ran over and he kept going. Basically pulling the tail away from the rest of his body. He couldn't poop or pee on his own, and had lost the movement of his tail and majority of his hind legs. We decided it was best to put him down. He was a cat that loved being outside and with other cats and people. We just couldn’t see Jack confined to a box unable to walk or jump for the rest of his life. He was euthanized shortly after 3:30 pm. And we brought him back home and buried him in the front yard where he will be surrounded by roses.
Jack was a great cat. He came to us and claimed us as his own only 5 or so months ago. He was seven months old when he came to live with us. He purred like the devil. Even at the vet where he got his first check up. The doctor couldn’t listen to his heart because he purred so loud. He made friends easily. He had a little fan club of kindergartners who would call for him on their way to school in the mornings and he would come out and let them pet him. All the neighbors knew him. He was smart. We showed him how to use his little kitty door in the garage only once. He got it. He loved to play, but most of all he loved being loved. He loved getting his belly scratched. He’d run up to you and roll over on the ground in front of your feet so you had to either trip over him or stop and give him some love. He loved “loosing” his collars! We finally after the sixth loss, got him micro chipped. He much prefered roaming naked anyway.
He will be sorely missed. His life was much too short. You were one of the best, Jack. Simply, the best!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Weight loss 2.0
I’ve always been able to loose a few extra pounds when I’ve needed or wanted too... until now. After 2 months of steady and increasing exercise workouts and watching what I eat with absolutely no results I’ve decided to try something completely different.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
sorry. After the last blog I looked into the South Beach Diet and decided it wasn’t for me. I looked into a few others, and then went to the book store and started reading several books on weight loss and dieting. I found one that fit me.
It’s called the Metabolism Miracle. Basically what it says is that people have either a normal metabolism or an abnormal metabolism. Apparently I show almost all of the signs of the abnormal metabolism. No matter how much I work out, I will not loose weight because my body overreacts to carbohydrates by releasing excess insulin, which is a fat storage hormone.
Usually this abnormal metabolism is triggered by something. For some it is menopause, a tragic death of someone close, or even pregnancy. For me it was stress two years ago that didn’t stop until I got laid-off last month. Since the project in Taft started, I have steadily gained a total of 30 pounds. It has taken about two years. You may not think that is a lot, and in reality it isn’t, but the fact that I can’t get rid of it now... is just frightening.
So there are 3 steps to this thing. Step 1 lasts for 8 weeks. I am almost 1 week in so far. For the first 8 weeks my carbohydrates are severely limited. I am allowed 5 grams ever 5 hours. I’m still getting used to it. I am not starving though, there are plenty of things I can eat. I can eat most meats (lean chicken, turkey, beef, buffalo, and fish). Other proteins like eggs, tofu, cheeses, soy, edamame, nut butters like peanut butter. Fats I can have butter, margarine, mayo, oils, nuts, seeds, and salad dressings. Veggies, I can have almost all veggies except carrots, parsnips, beets (which I don’t like anyway), potatoes, a few squashes, and pumpkin.
You will notice that there are no breads, pastas, rices, crackers, grains, and the things I am missing most at the moment: milk and fruit.
After the first 8 weeks are over, I will start step 2. I will then be able to slowly reintroduce some of my favorites. I will go from 5 grams ever 5 hours to up to 20 grams of carbs. I will be able to have some breads, rice, oatmeal and CEREAL!!! And FRUIT!! And milk, yogurt, and ice cream! Step 2 lasts as long as it needs to for me to get to a healthy maintainable weight.
Step 3 is all about maintaining that healthy weight for the rest of life. It changes from the grams consumed of carbs to servings per day depending on the amount of exercise one does, plus height and weight. There’s a bit more to it than that, but basically after steps 1 (letting the liver and pancreas rest and reset) and step 2 (reprogramming to a normal metabolism), that by step 3 I have learned how to eat and exercise for the rest of my life.
And so this journey begins. I will update you all in about a month with any results or utter failures.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
sorry. After the last blog I looked into the South Beach Diet and decided it wasn’t for me. I looked into a few others, and then went to the book store and started reading several books on weight loss and dieting. I found one that fit me.
It’s called the Metabolism Miracle. Basically what it says is that people have either a normal metabolism or an abnormal metabolism. Apparently I show almost all of the signs of the abnormal metabolism. No matter how much I work out, I will not loose weight because my body overreacts to carbohydrates by releasing excess insulin, which is a fat storage hormone.
Usually this abnormal metabolism is triggered by something. For some it is menopause, a tragic death of someone close, or even pregnancy. For me it was stress two years ago that didn’t stop until I got laid-off last month. Since the project in Taft started, I have steadily gained a total of 30 pounds. It has taken about two years. You may not think that is a lot, and in reality it isn’t, but the fact that I can’t get rid of it now... is just frightening.
So there are 3 steps to this thing. Step 1 lasts for 8 weeks. I am almost 1 week in so far. For the first 8 weeks my carbohydrates are severely limited. I am allowed 5 grams ever 5 hours. I’m still getting used to it. I am not starving though, there are plenty of things I can eat. I can eat most meats (lean chicken, turkey, beef, buffalo, and fish). Other proteins like eggs, tofu, cheeses, soy, edamame, nut butters like peanut butter. Fats I can have butter, margarine, mayo, oils, nuts, seeds, and salad dressings. Veggies, I can have almost all veggies except carrots, parsnips, beets (which I don’t like anyway), potatoes, a few squashes, and pumpkin.
You will notice that there are no breads, pastas, rices, crackers, grains, and the things I am missing most at the moment: milk and fruit.
After the first 8 weeks are over, I will start step 2. I will then be able to slowly reintroduce some of my favorites. I will go from 5 grams ever 5 hours to up to 20 grams of carbs. I will be able to have some breads, rice, oatmeal and CEREAL!!! And FRUIT!! And milk, yogurt, and ice cream! Step 2 lasts as long as it needs to for me to get to a healthy maintainable weight.
Step 3 is all about maintaining that healthy weight for the rest of life. It changes from the grams consumed of carbs to servings per day depending on the amount of exercise one does, plus height and weight. There’s a bit more to it than that, but basically after steps 1 (letting the liver and pancreas rest and reset) and step 2 (reprogramming to a normal metabolism), that by step 3 I have learned how to eat and exercise for the rest of my life.
And so this journey begins. I will update you all in about a month with any results or utter failures.
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