She's guilty!

I have been unemployed for almost two months now. I have been looking for work, granted not every hour of the day. I have been enjoying the time off. If it wasn’t raining so much the backyard would look amazing! However, I have only been able to start many backyard projects and then a week of rain happens.

For some reason though, I feel guilty. I feel guilty about staying up late and sleeping in. I have always been a night owl. I hate mornings! There is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to enjoy this freedom while I have it. Who knows when I will get the chance again? When I retire? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Also feel a bit guilty because I am not working. I am getting unemployment checks and staying up late and sleeping in and pulling weeds in my backyard. How is this productive? And gee wiz, why do I feel like I need to be productive? I feel like I have to do something... anything. Why? Is it so ingrained into me to be a productive member of society?

I just want to sleep in and watch movies and TV all day. Is that so bad? And when that new job comes along, I go back to being a productive member of society. Right now though... I’m going to hulu to watch some old TV shows.

The loss of Jack the Cat

The loss of a great one

Today is a sad day indeed. Last night our most awesomest cat ever was hit by a car. Somehow he made it home and curled up as best he could in his basket and tried to sleep. My sister and I found him this morning. He didn’t look right, and he could hardly purr. Those of you who have met Jack know that the instant he sees you, he starts to purr. I pet him and lifted his tail and it went limp. I went in to tell sis that something was wrong. Something has happened to Jack. She came back out to the garage and I lifted him out of his basket and sat him on the floor. He wouldn’t or couldn't move his back legs, they just sort of slumped to the side of his lower body. I said, “we need to take him to the vet.” I got his carrier ready while sis called the vet and then the emergency vet hospital. Jack never complained when I placed him in the carrier, and never made a sound on the long journey to the emergency hospital.

He was seen immediately. Got some much needed pain killers and had x-rays done. Sure enough, he had been hit by a car. Most likely got his tail ran over and he kept going. Basically pulling the tail away from the rest of his body. He couldn't poop or pee on his own, and had lost the movement of his tail and majority of his hind legs. We decided it was best to put him down. He was a cat that loved being outside and with other cats and people. We just couldn’t see Jack confined to a box unable to walk or jump for the rest of his life. He was euthanized shortly after 3:30 pm. And we brought him back home and buried him in the front yard where he will be surrounded by roses.



Jack was a great cat. He came to us and claimed us as his own only 5 or so months ago. He was seven months old when he came to live with us. He purred like the devil. Even at the vet where he got his first check up. The doctor couldn’t listen to his heart because he purred so loud. He made friends easily. He had a little fan club of kindergartners who would call for him on their way to school in the mornings and he would come out and let them pet him. All the neighbors knew him. He was smart. We showed him how to use his little kitty door in the garage only once. He got it. He loved to play, but most of all he loved being loved. He loved getting his belly scratched. He’d run up to you and roll over on the ground in front of your feet so you had to either trip over him or stop and give him some love. He loved “loosing” his collars! We finally after the sixth loss, got him micro chipped. He much prefered roaming naked anyway.

He will be sorely missed. His life was much too short. You were one of the best, Jack. Simply, the best!

Weight loss 2.0

I’ve always been able to loose a few extra pounds when I’ve needed or wanted too... until now. After 2 months of steady and increasing exercise workouts and watching what I eat with absolutely no results I’ve decided to try something completely different.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

sorry. After the last blog I looked into the South Beach Diet and decided it wasn’t for me. I looked into a few others, and then went to the book store and started reading several books on weight loss and dieting. I found one that fit me.

It’s called the Metabolism Miracle. Basically what it says is that people have either a normal metabolism or an abnormal metabolism. Apparently I show almost all of the signs of the abnormal metabolism. No matter how much I work out, I will not loose weight because my body overreacts to carbohydrates by releasing excess insulin, which is a fat storage hormone.

Usually this abnormal metabolism is triggered by something. For some it is menopause, a tragic death of someone close, or even pregnancy. For me it was stress two years ago that didn’t stop until I got laid-off last month. Since the project in Taft started, I have steadily gained a total of 30 pounds. It has taken about two years. You may not think that is a lot, and in reality it isn’t, but the fact that I can’t get rid of it now... is just frightening.

So there are 3 steps to this thing. Step 1 lasts for 8 weeks. I am almost 1 week in so far. For the first 8 weeks my carbohydrates are severely limited. I am allowed 5 grams ever 5 hours. I’m still getting used to it. I am not starving though, there are plenty of things I can eat. I can eat most meats (lean chicken, turkey, beef, buffalo, and fish). Other proteins like eggs, tofu, cheeses, soy, edamame, nut butters like peanut butter. Fats I can have butter, margarine, mayo, oils, nuts, seeds, and salad dressings. Veggies, I can have almost all veggies except carrots, parsnips, beets (which I don’t like anyway), potatoes, a few squashes, and pumpkin.

You will notice that there are no breads, pastas, rices, crackers, grains, and the things I am missing most at the moment: milk and fruit.

After the first 8 weeks are over, I will start step 2. I will then be able to slowly reintroduce some of my favorites. I will go from 5 grams ever 5 hours to up to 20 grams of carbs. I will be able to have some breads, rice, oatmeal and CEREAL!!! And FRUIT!! And milk, yogurt, and ice cream! Step 2 lasts as long as it needs to for me to get to a healthy maintainable weight.

Step 3 is all about maintaining that healthy weight for the rest of life. It changes from the grams consumed of carbs to servings per day depending on the amount of exercise one does, plus height and weight. There’s a bit more to it than that, but basically after steps 1 (letting the liver and pancreas rest and reset) and step 2 (reprogramming to a normal metabolism), that by step 3 I have learned how to eat and exercise for the rest of my life.

And so this journey begins. I will update you all in about a month with any results or utter failures.

weight loss 101

It has been well over a month now in my quest for weight loss. And I have lost... wait for it... one whole pound. Grrrrrrrrrr. This is not where I thought I’d be, to say the least. I started out with the wii fit. I realized after a few weeks that just using the wii fit for 20 to 30 minutes a day was not enough. So I started jogging on the treadmill in the garage. I started out at 15 minutes with a 3% incline. I am now up to 20 minutes at a 6% incline. Also I do about 10 minutes of free weights and crunches. I do this 30 minute work out 4 to 5 times a week.

I’ve cut down on how much I eat at every meal. I think I have finally nipped the binge eating on weekends thing in the bud. I have cut out soda... well almost. I still have one or two a week. I cut out fast food... except when my sister brought home Taco Bell once last week.

I think I have finally stopped the gaining and loosing of water weight. I think my regimen as it is will “maintain” my current weight. Now I have to step it up more so that I can start to actually loose this extra weight.

I’ve been doing some research. I need to speed up my metabolism and gain some muscle which will help burn fat. All this work with little to no improvement has been really hard. Keeping myself motivated is difficult. The only thing that seems to be helping is the fact that I do feel better after a workout and the thought that one day I will be able to wear most of my clothes again. It is going to take a while till I get to buy that first DVD. I better make it a good one!

Um, career change?

During this time of uncertainty in my job and life in general, many people have asked what my future plans will be. Will I quit my job*, find another company to work for, stay in archaeology, or get out of the field all together, and many other questions like now that your sister got married, will you move out? Like she doesn’t need me, or me her anymore or something along those lines. And a few people who have known me for well, since birth practically have asked me if I will pursue writing... professionally. It has crossed my mind, but I always push that thought back to the recesses of the back of my brain where other thoughts live that I don’t want to think about like I’m scared about getting old and dying and what if everyone I know dies before me and things like that.

Many people have told me that I’m a good writer. That was one of the reasons or the only reason perhaps that I chose to be an English major in college. Sometimes I like to think of myself as a good writer too, then I stop myself for fear that others will see that I’m really just full of bologna. Seriously, I’ve written some really bad stuff. I’ll even use my Masters Thesis as an example. It is one piece of work that I don’t want people to read. One, it’s really boring, and two, it is a piece of crap plain and simple. On the other hand, I have written some stuff that’s really good. Even I read over things that I’ve written and forgot about and say wow, I really wrote that.

I’ve had delusions of grandeur before of me writing some great piece of work and I end up on the Oprah show as one of her book club selections. You know you’ve made it when you get interviewed by Oprah. But now she doesn’t have a show anymore so that dream is over. I still haven’t decided if I write for me or for the admiration from others. And if it is for the admiration from others, is that a bad thing?

I’ve never ever finished anything I’ve written. These blogs only end because I don’t know what else to say, not that I’ve finished. Even now, I’ve sat here for 15 minutes and still don’t know what to write next. And now it has sat on my desktop for over a month now. So what does that say?

*I got laid-off two weeks ago now, so that answered that lingering question.

Another one bites the dust

Another year gone, a new year coming whether I like it or not. The beginning of this year is much like the last. Full of job uncertainty, job frustration, and instead of 10 pounds overweight it’s now 20. But 33 is a lucky number, right? I’ve decided that I need incentive to loose weight. After every 5 pounds I get to buy a DVD. I love movies and I love buying movies. So perhaps this will work. Then when I get to my goal, it’s about maintaining and not gaining it all back so then I will have to work out for every month I maintain, I get to buy another one. I have thought about blogging about the weightloss/getting off my lazy ass experience, thinking it would help motivate me, but I’m not sure. What do you think?

I think part of the frustration I am finding with my job besides all that has happened in the last 6 months is that no matter what I do, nothing changes. Here is what I mean: I go survey and record an archaeological site. The PTB (powers that be) decide to build their strip mall/freeway/seven sacred pools in their backyard anyway. I can’t stop them. I can recommend, but that is all. In many ways by having me survey and document whatever has fulfilled their permit requirements. Now they can go bulldoze all they want. Much of this is because the laws about cultural heritage have no teeth. There is no task force out there making sure that these construction companies and agencies are following my recommendations. No one is going to jail for looting and selling their contraband on ebay.

I’m tired of explaining what a CRM archaeologist is and does, for that matter I’m tired of explaining what an archaeologist is, let alone a CRM one. I’m tired of being un-liked just because of my job title. I’m tired of the confidentiality and secrecy involved. I can’t just tell people I come across while working who I am or what I’m doing. I’m tired of the ignorance. I think a big part of why there is a huge empty space in the collective head of the general U.S. citizen is the institution that is archaeology in general is to blame. We archaeologists get all bent out of shape when people think all we do is dig up dinosaurs (which we don’t do by the way), but we shroud ourselves in such secrecy that of course nobody knows that we even exist. Is it possible that if people in general knew what pothunting/looting/bottle hunting or even just the casual find does to the archaeological record, they would then decide not to dig it up/take it home/ sell on the black market? People say knowledge is power. If people were educated about it would they stop hunting for arrowheads or upgrade their search methods?

adjusting

Working from home has been, well, an adjustment. One would think that an opportunity to work from home would be ideal. It may be ideal if I actually had the space and was set up for it. I’m not. I take over a corner of the kitchen table and run an Ethernet cord from my bedroom (where our cable comes into the house) down the hall through the living room and into the kitchen. Then when my nephews come home from school, it’s a battle for the cord so they can play their online video games. Working from home is distracting. Home has always been home, my escape from work. Now, work is in my home. It’s also pretty lonely. There’s no one to talk to to discuss whatever it is I’m working on. I have to call someone, and try to explain to them what I’m working on or looking at. And there is no one here to motivate me. When we had an office with actual people in it, we weren’t watched 24/7 or felt watched, but because my co-workers were there, I was motivated. Other people working, makes me work. Now I have to motivate myself. That is not one of my top skills; trust me. My sister and I made a small table today for my work computer and accessories (scanner, speakers, keyboard, etc). That’s right, we made a table. I routered and everything! I’ll still be in the kitchen, but I won’t have to “put” everything away at the end of each day. We shall see how it goes. I’m still adjusting. I still don’t know if I like it or dislike it. I do like that I can now go to work in my PJ’s and nobody looks at me funny.

I never thought I’d miss the commute to the office, but I do. Not the 2 hours I spent in my car every day, but the daily habit of “going to the office”. And right now the drive up the mountain is beautiful. The trees are changing and loosing their leaves, and when the wind blows, it’s like snow… only its leaves.