Friday, August 31, 2018

A Little Obsession Can Go A Long Way

A little obsession is a good thing. Right? When I find something I like, which isn’t often, I obsess over it. It’s all I'll listen to, or watch, or read about for an undetermined duration. Until I work it out of my system or I've absorbed all that I can. These certain obsessions tend to happen at particular times in my life when they are actually desperately needed. And mostly unbeknownst to me that I needed them in the first place.

A few examples:
Taft. I had a very real mental breakdown which I’ve written about before HERE and HERE and had I been a violent person, I would have punched holes in my hotel walls. I needed to break something. And the physical pain involved in punching walls sounded very appealing. So did screaming. But I didn’t. I kind of needed my hands to function. Music, and three particular songs, pumped extremely loud into my earbuds on an endless loop was my only outlet that seemed to work or I was willing to do and not incur damage fees or get kicked out of the hotel and loose my job. I completely scared my parents, and they drove down the next day to see me. I still like those three songs, however they now always remind me of that place and time in my life. I'm not haunted by it and it doesn't shut me down. In fact, I look back on it with pride. I survived. I came out of that experience a stronger and wiser person.

Chester Bennington's death. After Chester died, which I also wrote about HERE, I watched every single LPTV episode (that's Linkin Park TV for those not in the know), music videos, and making of videos they had ever produced, interviews, and performances. The sudden death of Chester was a wake up call that I hadn’t realized I needed, and how far down into the hole of depression I had fallen. I would listen to their music, every album, on a loop for weeks. I needed to understand, absorb, and mourn. His death and my obsession of everything LP helped me dig out (not completely) to a much safer state of mind.

Finding Killjoys. This I haven't written about. Killjoys is a Science Fiction TV show made and filmed in Canada that airs on SyFy here in the U.S. I discovered the show when the third season was about to air. So I immediately binged the first two seasons. Then I bought the first two seasons on itunes. After the third season aired, I then bought it as well. Then I started to collect the music from the show. I had downloaded so much Killjoys stuff from itunes in the span of a few weeks that my credit union thought my card was stolen and put a hold on it. Whoops. No, just me obsessing over something again. I need access back please. I don't know why, but watching the show and listening to the music just makes me happy. I made a Killjoys playlist. The music is all over the place. Pop, rock, techno, dance, folk, instrumental, indie galore. I found some really interesting and amazing artists through the experience. Season four is airing now (Summer 2018). Season five will be the last, which has been already planned and set in stone. So hopefully it won't end on an excruciating cliff hanger like so many SciFi shows have ended before.

Lastly, Thirty Seconds to Mars. I've known about them since their inception, but like many of their early critics, I sort of wrote them off. I only had one of their songs in my itunes. However, I have since come to my senses. The last three weeks have been nothing but Thirty Seconds to Mars being pumped happily into my ear holes. I've been watching Jared Leto movies, interviews, videos, and documentaries. Whatever your thoughts are, that guy is freakishly talented. And all things Church of Mars. If you're a fan (or should I say Echelon), you get it. If not, it sort of looks like a cult from the outside. Anyway what has the current obsession with 30STM done? It’s realizing that if I want to realize my dreams, ambitions, and aspirations I have to make the effort and get up off my ass and do something about them. Whether that’s loosing all this weight I gained, or doing good work at work, or putting effort into my creative work. The only thing stopping me is me. I put these limitations on myself and I have to remove them. That it's okay to be obsessive. It's okay to dream. It's okay to dream big. And it's okay to just go for it. Complete Liberation. So get up off your ass, work hard, and turn those dreams into reality.

Sidenote: I find it interesting that I tend to like bands that have very strong critics. People either love them or hate them. It was true for Linkin Park, and still is for Thirty Seconds to Mars. To me, both had/have interesting and positive things to say and were/are innovators and not scared to explore new things and experiment. The critics and nay-sayers be damned.

So all that is to say, a little obsession is good for the mind, body, and soul. So let your freak flag fly. Take pride and ownership of your obsessions. Just don't get arrested.

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