Feeling very unacomplished lately. I need to get my ass in gear and figure out what I really want. What I really want to do with my life and what I really want to do as a job/career/ need to make more money than I am now.
Being back in a food/drink service job getting minimum wage makes me really yearn for the days when I was an extremely underpaid archaeologist. I was living just above paycheck to paycheck because I was able to save up for big things like plane tickets and DVD's and was able to pay for my car getting serviced and not having to put it on a credit card and taking 6 months to pay off $200 dollars.
Now I am living paycheck to paycheck and bleeding. I say bleeding because it isn't working. I don't make enough to sustain myself, and that makes me sad and angry and feel real bad about myself. I am in my 30's, I have two college degrees, I'm single so I don't have to sustain anyone but myself and I'm not doing it. My savings is just about empty. One major thing like my car breaking down, or a root canal or something like that, and I will be in the red, like I can't pay my mortgage red. I am only able to pay my portion of the mortgage every month just barely. I don't pay for the cable or utilities or even food. So really, I am not making it.
Things need to change, and they need to change soon. Nephew #2 is graduating in June and sis will want to move within the next year or so. And then what? Move back to mommy and daddy's? I hope not.
I'm the one who put myself in this situation, and I need to pull my head out of the sand and start moving and facing the problems I've been avoiding and start making things happen. The coffee shop job I have now was only suppose to be temporary. It was to be temporary stability, so I could work toward the shop dream. I only wanted to stay there 6 months to a year tops. It has been 8 months now.
I want to open my own little shop. I want to live in a little house with lots of land. I want a riding lawn mower and cats and finally live by myself. I want to be financially secure so I can fix my cars windshield and all the little things I've let slide or go because I can't afford them.
So how does one do this? How do I get moving and make forward progress?
Baby steps and with help. I admit that now. I've talked and hopefully planted a seed in one of you. And after 3 months of being a slouch, I'm finally running again. So yeah, baby steps and help.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Saturday, February 8, 2014
The Glamorous Life
So instead of writing about what I set out to today, I'm going to talk about bodily fluids again. Oh joy! One of my more so called "popular" posts was about a time when I had a most unpleasant experience in the middle of a desolate landscape surrounded by my "minions". You can read it all over again here, if you really want to.
Back when I was an archaeologist and was playing out in the world, I had to "used the facilities" in various states of actual facilities. Some times you're close enough to an actual flush toilet that is stocked with actual toilet paper and a sink with soap and stuff. But usually... that's not the case. As a side note, I know where all of the bathrooms are at the Monterey Presidio just in case you ever need to know. You learn early on in your archaeology career when it is safe to use a port-o-potty. If you are working with a construction crew who carts their "john" around with them... don't even open the door, just don't. It is also safer to just walk around to the back of one and go elsewhere when it hasn't been sucked out in so long that the mound is now actually visible without having to look down the hole.
You also learn early on to carry TP or something to wipe and dispose of with you at all times. (it would have been nice to be told this in field school) This is especially true for the females. When you don't have time to air dry. You all know what I'm talking about. Peeing as a female is such a freakin ordeal that many of us are masters of holding it all day. Bladders of steel, yo!
The point of all this was really to say that there is a level of trust one needs to have with their fellow crew members/humans or your poor bowels or bladder will explode. When you are in the middle of a plowed field with not a shrub, tree, or even a weed in sight for miles and you have to go, you trust your crew mates to turn around, walk away, and wait till you're done, before continuing the job at hand. Those of you who were on the Maricopa Solar project know what I'm talking about. I'm at a point now in my life that I am (I wouldn't say comfortable) but comfortable enough to "go" just about anywhere and around just about anyone. So thanks, archaeology for teaching me how to poop and pee in public.
Also, I thought about this while sitting on my awesome flushing goddess of a toilet in my house. You're welcome.
Back when I was an archaeologist and was playing out in the world, I had to "used the facilities" in various states of actual facilities. Some times you're close enough to an actual flush toilet that is stocked with actual toilet paper and a sink with soap and stuff. But usually... that's not the case. As a side note, I know where all of the bathrooms are at the Monterey Presidio just in case you ever need to know. You learn early on in your archaeology career when it is safe to use a port-o-potty. If you are working with a construction crew who carts their "john" around with them... don't even open the door, just don't. It is also safer to just walk around to the back of one and go elsewhere when it hasn't been sucked out in so long that the mound is now actually visible without having to look down the hole.
You also learn early on to carry TP or something to wipe and dispose of with you at all times. (it would have been nice to be told this in field school) This is especially true for the females. When you don't have time to air dry. You all know what I'm talking about. Peeing as a female is such a freakin ordeal that many of us are masters of holding it all day. Bladders of steel, yo!
The point of all this was really to say that there is a level of trust one needs to have with their fellow crew members/humans or your poor bowels or bladder will explode. When you are in the middle of a plowed field with not a shrub, tree, or even a weed in sight for miles and you have to go, you trust your crew mates to turn around, walk away, and wait till you're done, before continuing the job at hand. Those of you who were on the Maricopa Solar project know what I'm talking about. I'm at a point now in my life that I am (I wouldn't say comfortable) but comfortable enough to "go" just about anywhere and around just about anyone. So thanks, archaeology for teaching me how to poop and pee in public.
Also, I thought about this while sitting on my awesome flushing goddess of a toilet in my house. You're welcome.
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